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Food Jokes

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Q: What is a ghosts favorite snack?
A: Boo berries
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Yo mama so fат and sтuрid, she went to a grocery store and tried to gamble at Butterball.
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The friend of my mother has taken look at the photo on which I was and has said:
"yeah, the stepfather of Johny is a real expert of breeding of meaty pig types."
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KFC in Asia?
Korean fried cat.
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Q: How do you make a dead baby float?
A: One scoop of ice cream and Two scoops of dead baby.
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One day a family is wondering what to cook for dinner.
They have many ideas but each idea doesn't sound good.
Eventually, they go to the living room to watch tv when all of a sudden a knock at the door.
The mother answers it and it's a nun saying she's going door to door giving out soup to families.
She takes the bag of soup and thanks to the nun.
They all go to the kitchen and grab a bowl and then pour the soup into bowls.
The father says "this soup stinks!"
The mother says "honey a nun brought it to us be grateful."
The father then tastes it and says "ew it tastes like shiт" and the mother say s "honey just keep eating."
After they finish they go to the living room and the news is on.
The reporter says "the man dressed as a nun delivering raw sewage door to door has been caught" they all puked.
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We're like hot chocolate and marshmallows...
You're hot and I wanna be on top of you.
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Standing in line at a restaurant, I noticed that the few available tables left had not been cleaned off.
I mentioned this to the cashier, who told the manager.
A minute later, an annoyed-looking teen emerged from the back with a spray bottle and paper towels in hand.
"All right," she bellowed clear across the crowded dining room, "which one of you people wanted a clean table?"
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A policeman caught a nasty little boy with a penknife in one hand and a squirrel in the other.
"Now listen here," the policeman said, "Whatever yo do to that poor, defenseless creature I shall personally do to you."
"In that case," said the boy, "I'll kiss it's вuтт and let it go."
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A chemist, a physicist, and a mathematician are stranded on an island when a can of food rolls ashore.
The chemist and the physicist comes up with many ingenious ways to open the can.
Then suddenly the mathematician gets a bright idea: "Assume we have a can opener..."
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Yo mama so fат all the McDonald's food are gone.
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Teacher:
"If you bought 8 hotdogs,9 cheese burgers and 7 fillet o fishes and you ate 8 hotdogs 9 cheese burger and 7 fillet o fish what do you have at the end?"
Little Johnny:
"A bad blatter issue."
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Girl, do you need to get your protein macros up?
Because I'd gladly put my meat inside you.
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Wanna go on an 'ate' with me? I'll give you the 'D' later.
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My friend's dad went to Hungary.
I asked her, "Was your dad hungry in Hungary?"
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Един турист се разхождал из Лондон и се натъкнал на странна табела
Walking through Chinatown, a tourist is fascinated with all the Chinese restaurants, shops, signs and banners. He turns a corner and sees a building with the sign, "Hans Olaffsen's Laundry."
"Hans Olaffsen?", he muses. "How the heck does that fit in here?"
So he walks into the shop and sees an old Chinese gentleman behind the counter. The tourist asks, "How did this place get a name like "Hans Olaffsen's Laundry?"
The old man answers, "Is name of owner."
The tourist asks, "Well, who and where is the owner?"
"Me, is right here," replies the old man."You? How did you ever get a name like Hans Olaffsen?"
"Is simple," says the old man. "Many, many year ago when come to this country, was stand in line at Documentation Center. Man in front was big blonde Swede. Lady look at him and go, "What your name?" He say, "Hans Olaffsen." Then she look at me and go, 'What your name?'"
"I say, Sem Ting."
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A woman asks an agriculturalist:
"Please, tell me what shall I do? I have a garden but nothing grows there, like flowers or vegetables."
The agriculturalist says:
"You know, it is to dung the garden with a good fertilizer."
The woman says:
"And wouldn´t it be better to plant the vegetables directly into the аss?"
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One day Adam and his parents were at the mall.
Adams mum gave him a $5 note and sent him on his way.
He got a bag of сhiрs and a drink.
He went outside and his mum and dad weren't there.
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