Jokes about Diets and Weight Loss

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Искам да отслабна
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Когато видите нещо
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Когато си на диета и някой ти предложи въглехидрати Кога си на диета и некој ти понуди јаглехидрати Cuando estás a dieta y alguien te ofrece carbohidratos Когда ты на диете Wenn du auf Diät bist und dir jemand Kohlenhydrate anbietet Quand tu es au régime et que quelqu’un t’offre des glucides Όταν είσαι σε δίαιτα και κάποιος σου προσφέρει υδατάνθρακες Quando sei a dieta e qualcuno ti offre dei carboidrati Diyettesin ve biri sana karbonhidrat teklif ediyor Коли ти на дієті Quando estás de dieta e alguém te oferece carboidratos Kiedy jesteś na diecie När du är på diet och någon erbjuder dig kolhydrater Wanneer je op dieet веnт en iemand biedt je koolhydraten aan Når du er på slankekur og nogen tilbyder dig kulhydrater Når du er på diett og noen tilbyr deg karbohydrater Kun olet dieetillä ja joku tarjoaa sinulle hiilihydraatteja Amikor diétázol Când ești la dietă și cineva îți oferă carbohidrați Když jsi na dietě a někdo ti nabídne sacharidy Kai laikaisi dietos ir kas nors pasiūlo angliavandenių Kad esi diētā un kāds tev piedāvā ogļhidrātus Kad si na dijeti i netko ti ponudi ugljikohidrate
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За тези За оние што не сакаат броеви Para los que no les gustan los números Для тех Für diejenigen Pour ceux qui n’aiment pas les chiffres Για όσους δεν τους αρέσουν οι αριθμοί Per chi non ama i numeri Sayıları sevmeyenler için Для тих Para quem não gosta de números Dla tych För dem som inte gillar siffror Voor wie niet van cijfers houdt For dem For de som ikke liker tall Niille Azoknak Pentru cei cărora nu le plac numerele Pro ty Tiems Tiem Za one koji ne vole brojeve
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Only in America......can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.2. Only in America......are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink. 3. Only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front. 4. Only in America......do people order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet Coke. 5. Only in America......do banks leave both doors to the vault open and then chain the pens to the counters. 6. Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage. 7. Only in America......do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place. 8. Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight. 9. Only in America......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'. 10. Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.
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Женен съм от доста години. Наскоро моята жена ми каза да купя някакви хапчета
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You Know You Are Out of College When:

- Your potted plants stay alive.
- Sleeping in a twin-sized bed seems absurd.
- You have to pay your own credit card bill.

- Mac & Cheese no longer counts as a well-balanced meal.
- "Extended childhood" only really pertains to your salary which is a little less than your allowance used to be.
- "Twenty-something" means over-qualified, under-paid and not married.

- Jeans, flannels and baseball caps aren't staples in your wardrobe.
- You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.
- You stop confusing 401k plan with 10K run.

- You go to parties that police don't raid.
- You don't know what time Wendy's closes anymore.
- Your car insurance goes down.

- You refer to college students as kids.
- You feed your dog science diet instead of taco веll.
- Half your conversations with current college students start with, "When I was in college..."
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