“Now,” says the teacher, “who can name me some flowers with multiple syllables?”
“Daff-o-dil,” says Little Susie.
“Very nice,” says the teacher, “very nice!”
“Car-na-tion,” says Little Bobby.
“Very nice,” says the teacher, “very nice!”
“Dan-de-li-on,” says Little Betty.
“Very nice,” says the teacher, “very nice!”
“Fell-at-i-o,” says Little Johnny.
“That’s not a flower,” says the teacher.
“No,” says Johnny, “but it’s very nice.”..
L ittle Johnny and his dad went shopping at the grocery store. Walking down an aisle, Johnny asked his dad if he could have a box of Lucky Charms. His dad said,” Well, Johnny, can you touch your аsshоlе with your diск?” Johnny said, “No!!” Johnny’s dad said, “Well, there’s your answer.”
Later, Johnny asked if he could have Spagettios. His dad, again, said, “Can you touch your аsshоlе with your diск?” Johnny said,”No!!” His dad said, “Well, there’s your answer.” At the end of the shopping trip, Johnny’s dad felt bad about how he had talked to Johnny, so he bought him an instant lottery ticket. Johnny scratched the ticket and found that he won $1,000!!! His dad said,”Hey, Johnny, you gonna share the money with your old man? Johnny asked,”Dad, can you touch your аsshоlе with your diск?” Johnny’s dad said.,”As a matter of fact, I can!”
Johnny said,”GOOD, GO FUСК YOURSELF!!”
Teacher asks her class, “What is the animal depicted on a weather vane?”
Little Johnny, the infamous troublemaker, says, “I know, teacher, I know.”
Against her better judgment she calls on him and he says, “Teacher, it is a соск.”
Teacher asks the class, “Why is a соск on a weather vane?”
“I know, I know, teacher,” says Johnny.
“OK, Johnny, Why?”
“Because, teacher, if it had a сunт on it, the wind would whistle right through it.”
This teacher is teaching her grade four class, and she’s telling them that the word of the day is ‘contagious.’ She asks if anyone can use this word in a sentence, and several people stick up their hands. “Carl,” she says.
Carl says, “My dad told me to stay away from kids with mumps, ’cause they’re contagious.”
“Very good,” says the teacher.
Then she picks Suzie, who says, “The atmosphere was contagious,” and the teacher says, “Excellent, Suzie!”
Then she notices that little Johnny has his hand up, at the back of the class.
“Yes, Johnny?” she says. Johnny says, “The other day, me and my dad’s a-sittin around, and we saw our blonde neighbor painting her fence. She had a tiny little model car paintbrush, and she was going in tiny little strokes up and down the fence, and my dad says to me, “Jesus, it’s gonna take that c*nt ages to finish that fence.”