Grandma and Grandpa were visiting their kids overnight . When Grandpa found a bottle of Viаgrа in his son's medicine cabinet, he asked about using one of the pills. The son said,
"I don't think you should take one Dad, they're very strong and very expensive." "How much?" asked Grandpa. "$10.00 a pill," answered the son. "I don't care," said Grandpa, "I'd still like to try one, and before we leave in the morning, I'll put the money under the pillow. " Later the next morning, the son found $110 under the pillow. He called Grandpa and said,
"I told you each pill was $10, not $110. "I know," said Grandpa. "The hundred is from Grandma!"
An old man goes into Victoria's Secret and tells the sales-person behind the counter he needs a present for his wife. "See," explains the man, "It is my fiftieth wedding anniversary and I would like to get something pretty to surprise the little lady, if you know what I mean." When he gets home, his wife asks with a scowl on her face, "Where have you been?"
"Surprise," says the old man and hands her a sеxy tiny teddy. The wife rips it from his hand and takes it to the bathroom to try it on. She struggles to make it fit, but it is two sizes too small. She take a long time in the bathroom and hopes her husband will lose interest and fall asleep because it is getting late into the evening. Finally she emerges from the bathroom with all the lights out. She is completely nudе and pretends to model it in front of him. Her husband, still sitting up, squinting to try and see finally says,
"For as much money I spent on it, they could of at least ironed out the wrinkles."
Two homeless men are devising a plan to get free drinks at a bar. The first one has an idea:
"We'll buy a hot dog and stick it down your pants, walk into the bar, get our drinks, drink, and when the bartender asks for his money, you pull down your pants and I suск on the hot dog that you put down there. He'll kick us out, and we wont have to pay. It's brilliant!" The second man agrees and they do this in the first bar where it works just as planned. Then they hit up 4 more bars and the first man says,
"This is great, getting all these free drinks!" The other man replies,
"Yeah, especially because the hot dog fell out at the first bar."
A guy at a bar says to the bartender, "I bet you $1,000 I can рее in that cup all the way over there at the end of the bar." The bartender agrees, so the guy whips it out and he pees all over the bar. Having just won $1,000, the bartender starts smiling. The guy goes over to a table where his friends are seating and collects a bunch of money from them. He walks back to the bar, gives the bartender his $1,000, and then starts laughing. The bartender asks, "Why are you laughing? You just lost the bet." The guy says,
"Before I bet you, I bet all of my friends over there $2,000 dollars that I could рее all over your bar and you would be happy about it!"