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There was this gas station in "redneck country" trying to increase its sales, so the owner put up a sign saying "Free Sеx with Fill-up." Soon a "redneck" customer pulled in, filled his tank, and then asked for his free sеx. The owner told him to pick a number from (1) to (10), and if he guessed correctly, he would get his free sеx. The buyer then guessed (8) and the proprietor said, "No, you were close. The number was (7). Sorry, no free sеx this time but maybe next time". Some time thereafter, the same man, along with his buddy this time, pulled in again for a fill-up, and again he asked for his free sеx. The proprietor again gave him the same story and asked him to guess the correct number. The man guessed (2) this time, and the proprietor said, "Sorry, it was (3). You were close but no free sеx this time". As they were driving away, the driver said to his buddy, "I think that game is rigged and he doesn't give away free sеx". The buddy replied, "No, it's not rigged - my wife won twice last week."

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Redneck jokes

Three women are in a gym locker room dressing up to play racquetball when suddenly a guy runs through the room wearing nothing but a bag over his head. He passes the first woman, who looks down at his реnis. "He's not my husband," she says. He passes by the second woman, who also looks down at his реnis. "He's not my husband either." He passes by the third woman, who also looks down as he runs by her. "Wait a minute," she says. "He's not even a member of this club."

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Marriage and Family Jokes Fitness jokes

Sister Mary Ann, who worked for a home health agency, was making her rounds. She was visiting homebound patients when she ran out of gas.
As luck would have it, a gas station was just a block away. She walked to the station to borrow a gas can and buy some gas. The attendant told her that the only gas can he owned had been loaned out, but she could wait until it was returned
Since Sister Mary Ann was on the way to see a patient, she decided not to wait and walked back to her car. She looked for something in her car that she could fill with gas and spotted the bedpan she was taking to the patient. Always resourceful, Sister Mary Ann carried the bedpan to the station, filled it with gasoline, and carried the full bedpan back to her car.
As she was pouring the gas into her tank, two Baptists watched from across the street. One of them turned to the other and said, "If it starts, I'm becoming Catholic."

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Religion jokes Banker Jokes

Little Johnny: "I've рiss may I go out?"
Teacher : "Рiss is an impolite word instead you say I've number 1."
Jimmy: "May I go out? I want to shiт."
Teacher: "Shiт is also a bad word it is better to use number 2 instead."
Ronald: "There is a wind in my belly give me please a number for it."

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School Jokes Gross Jokes Kids Jokes Vulgar jokes Communication Jokes

Q: What does an SEO and part-time chiropractor work on?
A: Your bad backlinks.

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At the gym:
Me: "What does this machine do?"
"Sir, that's a bench."
Me: "Perfect."

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Fitness jokes Stupid Jokes

Travel agency named „Bermuda triangle" – Let us meet on the other side.

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Sick and Death Jokes Travel and Tourist Jokes

Q: How many dead babies does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: I don't know, there are twenty in my basement, and my basement light still isn't fixed.

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Dark Humor Jokes Light bulb jokes Morbid jokes Dead baby jokes

Hide a seek champion...
;
Since 1958

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Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes Geek jokes Nerd jokes

Q: Did you hear the one about the blonde that had a problem with her bed?
A: She couldn't find a knife large enough to apply the bed spread.

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Blonde Jokes Stupid Jokes

Q: What do you call a black guy who goes to college?
A: A Basketball player.

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Ethnic and Racial Jokes Sports Jokes School Jokes College jokes Black People Jokes

Q: Why the men's voice is louder than women?
A: men have an antenna!

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Men jokes Jokes about Women Dirty jokes Communication Jokes

Hi, I see that you're new to this gym, and I wanna be the first male to bother you.

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Fitness jokes Men jokes Flirt jokes

In France, Chuck Norris accidentally won Tour de France by exercise bike.

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Chuck Norris Jokes Sports Jokes

Marley stopped at the town barbershop for a haircut.
After thirty-five minutes of snipping and cutting, the barber held a mirror behind Marley's head.
"How you like it?" asked the barber.
"Real fine," said the redneck. "But how 'bout making it a little longer in the back?"

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Redneck jokes Beauty Jokes Stupid Jokes Hairdresser Jokes

A rabbi, a Hindu and a lawyer were driving late at night in the country when their car broke down. They set out to find help and came to a farmhouse. When they knocked at the door, the farmer explained that he had only two beds, and one of the three had to sleep in the barn with the animals. The three quickly agreed. The rabbi said he would sleep in the barn and let the other two have the beds. Ten minutes after the rabbi left, there was a knock on the bedroom door. The rabbi entered exclaiming, "I can't sleep in the barn; there is a pig in there. It's against my religion to sleep in the same room with a pig!" The Hindu said HE would sleep in the barn, as he had no religious problem with pigs. However, about five minutes later, the Hindu burst through the bedroom door saying, "There's a СОW in the barn! I can't sleep in the same room as a соw! It's against my religion!" The lawyer, anxious to get to sleep, said he'd go to the barn, as he had no problem sleeping with animals. In two minutes, the bedroom door burst open and the pig and the соw entered...

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Lawyer Jokes

At one point during a game, the coach called one of his 7-year-old football players aside and asked, "Do you understand what cooperation is?
What a team is?"
The little boy nodded in the affirmative.
"Do you understand that what matters is whether we win or lose together as a team?"
The little boy nodded yes.
"So," the coach continued, "I'm sure you know, when a foul is called, you shouldn't argue, curse, or attack the referee.
Do you understand all that?"
Again the little boy nodded.
He continued, "And when I take you out of the game so another boy gets a chance to play, it's not good sportsmanship to call your coach 'a worthless idiот' is it?''
Again the little boy nodded.
"Good," said the coach.
"Now go over there and explain all that to your parents."

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Sports Jokes Old People Jokes Soccer Jokes

John, woke up after the annual office Christmas party with a pounding headache, cotton-mouthed and utterly unable to recall the events of the preceding evening. After a trip to the bathroom, he made his way downstairs, where his wife put some coffee in front of him. "Louise," he moaned, "tell me what happened last night. Was it as bad as I think?"
"Even worse," she said, her voice oozing scorn. "You made a complete аss of yourself. You succeeded in antagonising the entire board of directors and you insulted the president of the company, right to his face."
"He's an аsshоlе," John said. "Рiss on him."
"You did," came the reply. "And he fired you."
"Well, sсrеw him!" said John. "I did. You're back at work on Monday.

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Christmas Jokes Monday jokes Coffee Jokes

A police officer responded to a report of a barroom disturbance.
The "disturbance" turned out to be well over six feet tall and weighed almost 300 pounds. What's more, he boasted that he could whip the officer and the "Heavy Weight Boxing Champion of the World."
Said the policeman, "I'll bet that you're also an escape artist too, probably better than Houdini."
The giant nodded.
"If I had some chains," the officer continued, "you could show us how strong you really are. But all I've got is a set of handcuffs. Why don't you see just how quickly you can break out of them?"
Once in the cuffs, the man puffed, pulled and jеrкеd for four minutes.
"I can't get out of these," the giant growled.
"Are you sure?" the officer asked.
The fellow tried again. "Nope," he replied. "I can't do it."
"In that case," said the officer, "you're under arrest."

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Police Officer Jokes

Question: How can you tell if your wife is dead?
Answer: The sеx will be the same but the dishes will pile up.

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