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Вицове за музиканти и музика English Music Witze, Musiker Witze, Mu... Chistes y anecdotas de Músicos... Анекдоты про музыкантов, Анекд... Blagues sur la musique - Blagu... Italiano Ελληνικά Македонски Türkçe Українська Português Dowcipy i kawały: Muzyka i muz... Musikskämt Muziekmoppen, Muziek humor Dansk Vitser om musik Musiikkivitsit, Muusikkovitsit Zenész viccek, Zene viccek Româna Vtipy o hudbě a muzikantech Lietuvių Latviešu Hrvatski
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Music jokes, Musician Jokes

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The Beatles originally sang "All you need is Chuck Norris".
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Michael Jackson does moonwalk because he doesn't have time to turn and run away from Chuck Norris.
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Did you hear that Princess Di was on the radio a couple of weeks ago?
Yep, and on the dashboard, and on the window, and on the hood....
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Chuck Norris can listen to 24 hours worth of music and not move a single muscle.
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What do Michelangelo and Kurt Cobain have in common?
They both used their brains to paint the ceiling.
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A guy sees a classified ad that says "Will give Вlоw Job while singing the Star Spangled Banner at the same time."
The guys thinks to himself that it sounds interesting and unbelievable, and so decides to pay her a visit.
She lets him in and says that the lights have to be off.
So she turns the light off and starts suскing his diск.
All of a sudden he hears the Star Spangled Banner, clear as day.
He really wants to know how she is doing this so he flips on the lights.
All he sees on the floor is a glass eye.
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How do you know if Dr. Dre has a high sреrм count?
Eminem has to chew before swallowing.
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Chuck Norris installed iTunes... in Blackberry!
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Not too long ago, there was a woman who wanted to know how her husband would react if she left without telling him where she had gone.
She decided to write him a letter saying she is tired of him and didn't want to live with him anymore.
After writing the letter, she put it on the table in the bedroom and then climbed under the bed to hide until her husband got home.
When he eventually came back home, he saw the letter on the table and read it.
After a few moments of silence, he picked up the pen and added something to the letter.
Then he started to get changed, whistling happy tunes and singing and dancing while he did so. He grabbed his phone and dialed a number.
His wife listened from under the bed as he started chatting to someone.
"Hey ваве, I'm just changing clothes then will join you," he said.
"As for the other fool, it finally dawned on her that I was fooling around on her and left. I was really wrong to have married her; I wish you and me had met earlier. See you soon, honey!"
Then he hung up and walked out of the room.
In tears and very upset, she climbed out from under the bed and stumbled over to read what her unfaithful husband had written on the end of her letter.
Through teary eyes, she read:
"I could see your feet you idiот, I am going out to buy bread."
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My family loves to have dance parties. My dad will just play music from his iPod, and I’ll go to the light switch and make a nice strobe light effect. Everyone loves it, especially my younger cousin. He gets down on the floor and starts breakdancing! It makes him so happy, and he needs that extra joy in his life, especially since the doctor recently diagnosed him with epilepsy.
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At the grammy awards Beyonce said to Justin Bieber, “What song would u sing of mine justin?” Justin said, “If I were a boy.”
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You-Wanna-Do-What-To-Me-Elmo?
What does Michael Jackson call a Tickle-Me-Elmo doll?
Bait!
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Виждали ли сте жената на Стиви Уондър? Hast du schon mal Stevie Wonders Frau gesehen? Hast Du eigentlich schon mal die Frau von Steve Wonder gesehen? tu as vu la femme de Ray Charles ??? ... lui non plus ! Har du sett kona til Stevie Wonder? Det har ikke han heller.. – Har du sett Stevie Wonders fru? – Nej. – Inte han heller… Stii cum arata nevasta lui Steve Wonder? Nici el nu stie
Q: Have you ever seen Stevie Wonder's wife?
A: Neither has he.
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I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to pass gas.
The music was really, really loud, so I timed my gas with the beat of the music.
After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee, and noticed that everybody was staring at me...
Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod.
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Accordion to a recent survey, replacing words with the names of musical instruments in a sentence often goes undetected.
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Two windmills are standing in a field and one asks the other, “What kind of music do you like?” – The other says, “I’m a big metal fаn.”
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My neighbors listen to awesome music
Whether they like it or not.
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TIL that for release in Finland, the original Mortal Kombat had to be censored in an unusual way. Censors were fine with the gore, but insisted the music be replaced with traditional Christian songs.
Finnish hymn!!!
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