Dirty jokes - Page 38

Two little boys, one blond, one with brown hair, were arguing over whose father could beat the other’ up.
The brown-haired kid said, “My father is way better than yours.”
The blond came back, “Maybe, but my mother is better than yours.”
“That’s what my father says.”

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If a firefighters business can go up in smoke, and a plumbers business can go down the drain, can a hоокеr get layed off?

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Business jokes Dirty jokes

Boy: "Do you like parties?"
Girl: "Yes, why?"
Boy: "Well then jump in my pants and have a ball!"

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Jokes about Women Partying and Bad Behavior Jokes Dirty jokes Men jokes Flirt jokes

Two nuns are sitting on a park bench.
A man in a trench coat runs up and flashes them.
The first nun has a sтrоке.
The second nun tried but she couldn't reach.

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Dirty jokes Men jokes

A guy and a girl meet at a bar. They get along so well that they decide to go to the girl’s place. A few drinks later, the guy takes off his shirt and then washes his hands.
He then takes off his pants and washes his hands.
The girl watches him and says, “You must be a dentist”
The guy, surprised, says “Yes…how did you figure that out?”
The girl says, “Easy… you keep washing your hands."
One thing led to another and they make love.
After they were done, the girl says, “You must be a great dentist.”
The guy, now with a boosted ego says, “Yes, I sure am a great dentist. How did you figure that out?”
The girl says, “Easy… I didn’t feel a thing!”

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Dentist Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Dirty jokes Bar and Bartender Jokes Love Jokes

Two guys always catch the train to work together; one is French, the other Italian.
Every morning when the French guy gets on, he passes his fingers underneath his nose while sniffing and says "Aaahhh... Fifi!"
He does this every day, so the Italian guy says to him one morning, "Why do you do that and say 'Aaahhh... Fifi!'?"
The French man explaines that Fifi is his wife, and he fingers her every morning and it reminds him of her all day.
The next morning, the French guy gets on the trains and sniffs his fingers saying, "Fifi!"
Then the Italian guy gets on and runs his whole arm under his nose and says, "Aaahhh... Maria!"

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Dirty jokes Office and Work Jokes Gross Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Men jokes

One day little Jonny was at his house asleep until he heard his parents arguing and his mom called the dad a "ваsтаrd" and the dad called the mom a "вiтсh".
So little Jonny asked, "dad what does вiтсh and ваsтаrd mean?"
Then his dad said it meant "ladies and gentlemen."
So the next day little Jonny was upstairs in his room until he heard his mom moaning.
He walked into their room and the mom said "feel my тiттiеs" and the dad said "choke on my diск".
Little Jonny asked, "dad what does тiттiеs and diскs mean?"
So his dad said "coats and jackets."
Then it was Thanksgiving and they were having family over for the day and Little Jonny went upstairs and heard his dad say "shiт!"
Because he had cut himself.
And Little Jonny said, "dad what does shiт mean?"
So his dad said "it means wiping shaving cream off my face."
So little Jonny went back downstairs and his mom was in the kitchen stuffing a turkey and she yelled: "fuск!"
So little Jonny asked, "what does fuск mean?"
And she said "stuffing the turkey."
Then the doorbell rang, and Little Jonny opened the door and said: "hello вiтсhеs and ваsтаrds put your тiттiеs and diскs on the coat racket, my dads, upstairs wiping the shiт off his face and my moms in the kitchen fuскing the turkey!"

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Parent Jokes Little Johnny Jokes Dirty jokes Vulgar jokes Thanksgiving Jokes Communication Jokes

When you are in Hospital, your friends ask: "Hey, how are you dear?"
But your best friend ask: "Hey buddy, how is the nurse?"

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Men jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Dirty jokes Friendship Jokes Nurse jokes

A shepherd goes to a television programme.
A man of the viewers stand up and asks him, "What was the best day of your life?"
The shepherd answers, "Well...the best day of my life was when I lost my donkey in Cuccureddu's mountain, when I found it, i took it to the village's square and everyone fuскеd it."
A second man of the viewers asks him, "And the second best day of your life?"
And the shepherd, "Well...the second one was when in lost a sheep in Cuccureddu's mountain, when I found it, I took it to the village's square and everyone fuскеd it."
So, after that, a third man of the viewers stand up and asks, "And the worse day of your life?."
"The worse day of my life was when I got lost in Cuccureddu's mountain..."

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Dirty jokes Men jokes

One day a women walks into work in a short skirt.
As she’s walking to her desk she gets stopped by a co-worker, who says,
“Your hair smells really nice today.”
She grimaces and stomps into her manager’s office.
She says,”I want to file a sеxuаl harassment complaint!” and then relates what happened.
The manager says, “What’s wrong with him complimenting how your hair smells?”
Furious, she snarls, “He’s a мidgет!”

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Sex Jokes Jokes about Women Office and Work Jokes Dirty jokes Boss Jokes

Women need a reason to have sеx - men just need a place.

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Sex Jokes Jokes about Women Dirty jokes Men jokes

A guy is driving his car and finds a friend crying, sitting on the road. He stops. And he asks him:
- Hey, What happens to you?
- (crying) Look! and he points a crashed car.
- Well, don't care and buy another car.
- Look inside the car!
- Well, don't care and get another blonde, and that's all.
- Look inside her mouth!!!

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Dirty jokes Car and driving jokes Money jokes Blonde Jokes Sex Jokes Friendship Jokes

What does tightrope walking and getting a вlоwjов from Grandma have in common?
You don't look down.

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Dirty jokes Sports Jokes Old People Jokes

An elderly man and woman meet in a bar and get to talking.
They are enjoying their conversation so much that, when the bar closes, they decide to continue at the woman's apartment.
After a time, things start getting pretty romantic and they wind up in bed.
Afterward, they're both laying there, staring at the ceiling.
The old man is thinking, “Gosh, if I had known she was a virgin, I would have been more careful with her.”
The old lady is thinking, “Geez, if I had known he could get it up, I would have taken off my раnтiеs.”

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Dirty jokes Jokes about Women Men jokes Sex Jokes Old People Jokes Bar and Bartender Jokes Love Jokes

A father was advising his son: "If you want to have a big and strong diск in future you have to eat more walnuts."
Suddenly son's mother by an angry face shouted: "Why when you were child did'nt eat enough walnut yourself?"

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Dirty jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Kids Jokes Dad Jokes Communication Jokes

I and my two mates went to a hоокеr and she told us that it will cost us a pound an inch.
My first mate went in and came out after minutes, saying, it cost me a tenner!
My second mate went in and came out ten minutes later and said, it cost me £9.50!
I went in and came out ten minutes later and said, it cost me £3.50.!
"What do you mean," they asked me.
"I told them, you both paid on the way in but I paid on the way out."

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Dirty jokes Money jokes Sex Jokes Friendship Jokes Communication Jokes

What do you get when you take two hookers to Red Lobster?
10% off for bringing your own сrавs.

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Dirty jokes

When Usain Bolt finishes in 9.8 seconds. When I finish in 9.8 seconds

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Dirty jokes

My friend over there really wants your number so they know where to get a hold of me in the morning.

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Dirty jokes Pick-Up Lines Jokes Sex Jokes Friendship Jokes Flirt jokes Phone jokes

An old lady went to visit her dentist. When it was her turn, she sat in the chair, lowered her underpants, and raised her legs. The dentist said:
“Excuse me, but I’m not a gynecologist.”
“I know,” said the old lady. “I want you to take my husband’s teeth out.”

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Sex Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Dirty jokes Old People Jokes Dentist Jokes Gynecology Jokes