Geek jokes - Page 4

Q: What do you call a group of 8 hobbits
A: Hobbyte.

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POST Server image uploads in android are easy.

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Computer Jokes Geek jokes

Q: What did the dentist say to the computer?
A: This won't hurt a byte

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Computer Jokes Geek jokes Dentist Jokes

Chuck Norris can access the internet from a walkie talkie.

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Internet Jokes Technology Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes Computer Jokes Geek jokes

A big party is being held to honor relational database systems and their impact on modern society.
Outside the venue, the host awaits the guests.
The first limousine arrives and out steps Oracle followed by 4 people.
Host: Who have you brought along?
Oracle: I have 4 DBA's in tow. One to install me, one to design the databases, one to administer me, and the other to justify the cost.
A second limo arrives and out steps DB2 followed by 40 people.
Host: Who have you bought along?
DB2: I have 2 DBA's, 2 hardware specialists, and 36 consultants.
A third limo arrives and out steps SQL Server all on his own.
Host: Why haven't you brought anyone?
SQL Server: I didn't bring anyone because I am easy to install and am basically self managing. But I did bring the #sqlhelp Twitter hashtag for when the excrement hits the fаn.
20 minutes later, up rushes MySQL, unshaved, hair a mess.
Host: Where have you been MySQL?
MySQL: Sorry, I thought it was February 31st.

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Social Network Jokes Technology Jokes Partying and Bad Behavior Jokes Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes Geek jokes

New Year's Resolutions for Internet Junkies...
I will try to figure out why I *really* need 9 e-mail addresses.
I will stop sending e-mail to my wife (husband).
I resolve to work with neglected children -- my own.
I will answer my snail mail with the same enthusiasm with which I answer my e-mail.
I will stop sending e-mail, ICQ, Instant Messages and be on the phone at the same time with the same person.
I resolve to back up my 12GB hard drive daily...well, once a week... okay, monthly then...or maybe...
I will spend less than one hour a day on the Internet. This, of course, will be hard
to estimate since I'm not a clock watcher.
When I hear "Where do you want to go today?" I will not reply "MS Tech Support."
When I hear a funny joke I will not reply, "LOL... LOL!"
I will read the manual... just as soon as I can find it.
I will think of a password other than "password."
I will stop checking my e-mail at 3:00 in the morning... 4:30 is much more practical.
I resolve... I resolve to... I resolve to, uh... I resolve to, uh, get my, er...
I resolve to, uh, get my, er, off-line work done, too!

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Office and Work Jokes Technology Jokes Computer Jokes Geek jokes New year jokes Internet Jokes

What kind of doctor fixes broken websites?
A URLologist.

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Medical and Doctor Jokes Technology Jokes Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes Geek jokes Internet Jokes

Q: Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas?
A: Because Oct 31 == Dec 25!

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Programmer Jokes Computer Jokes Christmas Jokes Halloween Jokes Geek jokes

Q: Why can't lawyers do NMR?
A: Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.

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Lawyer Jokes Geek jokes Chemistry Jokes Nerd jokes

Much like Apple products, I also, am only compatible with myself.

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Technology Jokes Computer Jokes Geek jokes

I never thought that the Internet was very useful, but now I've changed my mind.
Let's hope your new one works better than the one you had before.

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Geek jokes Technology Jokes Computer Jokes Internet Jokes

A lady tells the nurse at a maternity hospital, "I want to call my little baby Ellie."
Nurse replies, "I'm sorry, but that name is already taken, perhaps you can consider naming her Ellie532 or Ellie_153?"

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Geek jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Baby Jokes Nurse jokes

Q: What is 001011010110101010100101010010101015 in binary?
A: A major glitch!

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IT jokes Technology Jokes Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes Geek jokes Military Jokes

Q: What did one magnet say to the other?
A: I find you very attractive.

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Geek jokes Valentine's Day Jokes Science jokes Communication Jokes

A scientist tells a pharmacist, "Give me some prepared tablets of acetylsalicylic acid."
"Do you mean aspirin?" asks the pharmacist.
The scientist slaps his forehead. "That's it!" he says. "I can never remember the name."

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Pharmacist Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Science jokes Geek jokes Chemistry Jokes

Parallel lines have so much in common.
It's a shame they'll never meet.

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Math Jokes Science jokes Geek jokes

A photon is checking into a hotel and the bellhop asks him "Do you have any luggage?"
The photon replies, "Nope, I'm traveling light."

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Science jokes Geek jokes Communication Jokes Travel and Tourist Jokes Nerd jokes Hotel Jokes

Daddy, how was I born?
Ah, very well, one day you need to find out anyway!
Mom and Dad got together in a chat room.
Dad set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber cafe.
We snuck into a secluded room, and then your mother downloaded from your dad's memory stick.
As soon as dad was ready for an upload, it was discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall.
Since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later the blessed virus appeared.
And that's the story.

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Geek jokes Technology Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Kids Jokes Computer Jokes Dad Jokes

99 little bugs in the code,
99 bugs in the code,
1 bug fixed...
Compile again,
100 little bugs in the code.

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Funny Poems Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes Geek jokes

If I wanted a warm fuzzy feeling, I'd antialias my graphics!

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IT jokes Technology Jokes Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes Geek jokes