One Liner Jokes, Short jokes

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Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

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I told my friend that my wife and I had a huge argument and she left for the Caribbean.
"Jamaica?" he asked.
"No," I replied, "she went of her own accord."

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Doctor: What seems to be the trouble?
Patient: Doctor, I keep getting the feeling that nobody can hear what I say.
Doctor: What seems to be the trouble?

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My friends and I exhumed a tibia. It was quite the shin dig!

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The best time to purchase stocks is when the market hits bought em.

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I played basketball for five years, and I was a benchwarmer all five years. If you were never a benchwarmer, I cannot express to you the humiliation of, every Saturday morning, putting on a pair of breakaway pants and never having a reason to break them away -- then theyre just pants.

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Netflix: The latest craze among fishermen.

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The pothole problem is getting crater and crater.

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I'm changing my name to "Everyday"...
Because that's what the people I owe money to call me.

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“Convicted and fined, he had no rights and nothing left so he decided to go straight.”

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Accountants have a accrued sense of humour.

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If you wear a bag over your head today, it just ghost to show you…

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What do you call a judge with no thumbs?
Justice Fingers.

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An Albertan's favourite movie? Tarsand.

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Mr. Clean is really Chuck Norris with a shaved head and an ear-ring.

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My office was so small...
I had to leave the room to change my mind.

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I can't run fast in the slush; I'm sleet of foot.

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The man who broke up with his longtime girlfriend went on a consolational fruit-eating binge. When asked how he was handling it, the fellow merely raised a half-eaten piece of produce. “Can't you see,” he said, “I am in the depths of this pear.“

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