One Liner Jokes, Short jokes

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I’d tell a joke about my abusive dad but I only remember the punch line.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Put her in a circle and tell her to go to the corner.

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"Doctor! There's fly in the ointment!"
"Yes, I know, he's recovering from a nasty soup-burn."

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What do you call a blonde standing on her head?
A brunette with bad breath.

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You ever get a new cell phone and you're too lazy to transfer all the numbers over, so you just stop being friends with a bunch of people?

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Why did the deaf blonde sit on the newspaper? So she could lip read.

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Never hold in a fаrт; that's something an аsshоlе would do.

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What did the boy ghost say to the girl ghost after he saw her all dressed up for Halloween?
You look boo-tiful!

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If you want a list of Chuck Norri's enemies, just check the extinct species list.

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How do you keep a blonde busy for hours? Scroll down... Scroll up...

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What’s the difference between a smart blonde and a unicorn?
Nothing, they're both fictional characters.

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Three blondes girls were walking in the woods and came upon tracks. The first one said,
"Look, it's deer tracks." The second one said,
"No, it's wolf tracks" and before the third one could answer, they got hit by a train.

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Chuck Norris was once in a knife fight. The knife lost.

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A police officer arrives at the scene of an accident, in which a car smashed into a tree.
The cop rushes over to the vehicle and asks the driver, “Are you seriously hurt?”
“How should I know?” the man answers, “I’m not a lawyer!”

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When I was walking around the super market I noticed a blonde staring really hard at a carton of orange juice. I asked her what she was doing. She said "Well, it says on the carton 'concentrate'". Submitted by CalamjoEdited by Curtis

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A truck driver was driving down the highway when he saw an elderly priest at the side of the road. He stopped to give him a ride.

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What did the blonde ask Santa Claus for Christmas? A: Five golden dings, four calling nerds, three French men, two purple gloves, and a bar fridge and a party.

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Mother talking to her blonde daughter:
At the age of ten:
Honey, you are too young to play with big boys!
At the age of thirty:
You are too big to play with young boys, honey!

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