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What happened when a man ordered a double?
The barman brought out someone that looked just like him.
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NED: Remember that goodlooking amputee from last night?
ED: Yeah – she really cauterize!
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Think the price of gas is expensive?
Have you seen the price of chimneys?
They are going through the roof!
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What do you call a room full of women, half with РМS, half with yeast infections?
A whine and cheese party!
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Why did the electrician close early on Mondays?
Because business was very light.
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Tequila is an excellent teacher...
Just last night it taught me to count...
One Tequila, Two Tequila, Three Tequila, Floor!
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Мешање
Weihnachten und Silvester verwechseln
Pourquoi les programmeurs mélangent toujours Noël et l'Halloween ? - Parce que DEC 25 = OCT 31 (25 décimales (dec)
Q: Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas? A: Because Oct 31 == Dec 25!
Warum verwechseln Mathematiker Weihnachten und Halloween?
Warum verwechseln Informatiker Halloween und Weihnachten? Oct(31) == dec(25)
Proč si matfyzáci pletou Vánoce s Halloweenem? Protože DEC 25 je to samé
- Kodėl programuotojai kartais maišo Helovyną su Kalėdomis? - Nes Oct 31 lygu Dec 25.
How come legacy programmers get Halloween and Christmas confused?
Because Oct 31 = Dec 25 (Octal 31 = Decimal 25)
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Q) How do you know when a blonde has been using a computer? A) Theres cheese by the mouse and tip-ex on the screen!
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A couple days ago, I was crossing this bridge, and there was this character standing there with a cup in his hand. He goes, Hey, can you help out my wife and family? I said, Sure. And I pushed him off the bridge.
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When in a bar, you can order a drink called a "Chuck Norris". It is also known as a "Вlооdy Mary", if your name happens to be Mary.
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Když se říká „nikdo není dokonalý”
Чък Норис приема за лична обида
When you say "no one's perfect", Chuck Norris takes it as a personal insult.
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Соw insults can be very hard to diss heifer.
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The Devil whispered in my ear, “You’re not strong enough to withstand the storm.”
I whispered in the Devil’s ear, “I like your eggs.”
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The Sharkeisha super falcon punch is as close as anyone has ever gotten to the force of a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
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When Chuck Norris takes his shirt off the sun gets a tan.
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All your base are belong to Chuck Norris.
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According to chemistry ALCOHOL is a SOLUTION
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My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face.
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