One Liner Jokes, Short jokes

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When I meet a girl, I ask her to pose nudе for a painting Im doing because thats a very good way to get her to sleep with me.

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I’m not going to bungee jump. I was born because of broken rubber and i’m not gonna die the same way.

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Every time a веll rings Chuck Norris kills a bear.

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“A drummer who became a policeman was pounding a beat.”

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Yo momma so fат when she trips in California, she lands in The Philippines

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A patient complained to the doctor that his hair was coming out.
"Won't you give me something to keep it in?" he begged.
"Take this," the doctor said kindly, and he handed the patient a pill box.

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Chuck Norris once sued Burger King after they refused to put razor wire in his Whopper Jr, insisting that that actually is "his" way.

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Q: What's a blonde's favorite wine?
A: "Hoooooney, I want to go to Miaaami!"

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If you shoot someone in the eye you might not кill them, but you might give them Glock coma.

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“Why is it so difficult to find Christmas puns that slay?”

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A Spanish patient goes to an English doctor.
Doctor:
"What is it that's brought you here?"
Patient:
"An ambulance. Why?"

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How can you tell when a FAX had been sent from a blonde?There is a stamp on it.

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What is the difference between a lawyer and a sреrм cell?
I don't know. But I'll tell you what's the same. They both have a million to one chance of becoming a human being.

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Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once a nd reported the сriме. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio, and a K-9 unit, patrolling nearby, was the first to respond.

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Kickass this if you think there should be a favorites section so we can laugh at our favorite jokes anytime.

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After an MCAT exam, a father asks his son, "How did it go son?"
Young man, looking rather reproachful, replied, "It went well dad. In fact, it went so well that I will retake it again next year."

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Are there child-eating pigs in Tottenham?

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Motto of a necrophage:
“Nice tomb eat you!”

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