One Liner Jokes, Short jokes

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One man said to another, "I got my wife a lady's wristwatch."
"Did she like it?" the second man asked.
"Yes, but then the lady showed up and took it back."

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It's Sparta the job description…

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A bartender broke up with her boyfriend...
But he kept asking her for another shot.

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What's the birthstone of the chronically suicidal?

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Hear about the bold new killer?

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The police raided an unlicensed daycare. It was an illegal grow-up.

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The lawyer who got into cattle breeding put in many build-a-bull hours.

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NED: Who's yo daddy?
ED: Huh?
NED: I said – who's yo daddy?
ED: Funny, I thought it was a parent…

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Patient: Doctor, doctor, I work like a horse, eat like a bird, and I'm tired as a dog!
Doctor: Have you been to a veterinarian?

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Which species put a cartoon dog into space? The Mars Snoopyals.

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Relaxing music puts me in a calm position.

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What does a Hispanic соw say?

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Invest in puns, corny puns! The stalk mock-it has never been higher.

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How do you track rodent populations? With a MySQuirreL database.

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The Italian fascist dictator was a trivia expert: Benito Miscellany.

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Q: Why are blonde jokes one-liners?
A: So brunettes can understand them.

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An old teacher asked her student, "If I say, 'I am beautiful,' which tense is that?" The student replied, "It is obviously past."

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What did the teen tell his doctor upon waking up in the hospital during a thunderstorm?
He thought he was safe from the lightning because he was "grounded".

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