One Liner Jokes, Short jokes

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How can you tell when a FAX had been sent from a blonde?There is a stamp on it.

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What did the blonde say when she saw a herd of elephants with sunglasses on?
Nothing, she didn't recognize them.

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What is the difference between a lawyer and a sреrм cell?
I don't know. But I'll tell you what's the same. They both have a million to one chance of becoming a human being.

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Kickass this if you think there should be a favorites section so we can laugh at our favorite jokes anytime.

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After an MCAT exam, a father asks his son, "How did it go son?"
Young man, looking rather reproachful, replied, "It went well dad. In fact, it went so well that I will retake it again next year."

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Are there child-eating pigs in Tottenham?

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Motto of a necrophage:
“Nice tomb eat you!”

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One man said to another, "I got my wife a lady's wristwatch."
"Did she like it?" the second man asked.
"Yes, but then the lady showed up and took it back."

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It's Sparta the job description…

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A bartender broke up with her boyfriend...
But he kept asking her for another shot.

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My father, the deer hunter, loved to travel. I still remember his advice. “Go to Venice, son.“

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What's the birthstone of the chronically suicidal?

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The police raided an unlicensed daycare. It was an illegal grow-up.

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The lawyer who got into cattle breeding put in many build-a-bull hours.

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NED: Who's yo daddy?
ED: Huh?
NED: I said – who's yo daddy?
ED: Funny, I thought it was a parent…

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Patient: Doctor, doctor, I work like a horse, eat like a bird, and I'm tired as a dog!
Doctor: Have you been to a veterinarian?

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Which species put a cartoon dog into space? The Mars Snoopyals.

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Relaxing music puts me in a calm position.

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