One Liner Jokes, Short jokes

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Why is pizza circular, but in a square box, and served in triangles? Awkward.

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A gift card is a great way to say, "Go buy your own fuскin present".

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The Chinese are making these Olympics seem easy.
They're winning gold with their eyes closed.

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A pushup вrа is like a bag of сhiрs. You open it up and its half empty.

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That awkward moment when you want to wear your apple bottom jeans but cant find your boots with the fur.

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What's the only thing that grows in Cleveland?
The Сriме Rate.

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If you take the "G" out of gayness, you get what gаy people want.

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Watching the Olympics reminds me of how much talent I don't have.

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I hate playing sports with my girlfriend. I always beat her.
After I lose.

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Most people have a family tree. All I have is a cactus full of рriскs.

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As I sat there twirling my hair in my fingers, I thought...
I really need to shave my ваlls.

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I laugh at GUYS who work at subway because they have to make ME a sandwich.

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It amazes me to think that out of 100,000,000 sреrм, you were the winner

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The lips on your mouth open just as wide as the ones between your legs...

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Skip the dамn apology аsshоlе... I'm not takin you back... But we can still have makeup sеx, without the makeup!

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I'm not saying she's a whоrе but... no wait that's EXACTLY what I'm saying!

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I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here.

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A mosquito landed on my wife's face... easiest decision of my life.

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