One Liner Jokes, Short jokes

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I laugh at GUYS who work at subway because they have to make ME a sandwich.

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I do what I want, where I want, when I want.... If my Mom says its ok.

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It amazes me to think that out of 100,000,000 sреrм, you were the winner

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Skip the dамn apology аsshоlе... I'm not takin you back... But we can still have makeup sеx, without the makeup!

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I'm not saying she's a whоrе but... no wait that's EXACTLY what I'm saying!

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I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here.

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A mosquito landed on my wife's face... easiest decision of my life.

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The most important thing in life is to be yourself...
Unless you can be Batman. Always be Batman.

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I saw a warewolf at the bus stop this morning. Or possibly just a very hairy guy.
Either way, the silver bullets worked.

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I set my DVR to record 'The Biggest Loser' and it keeps taping Michigan football games.

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You know what I would do at the Olympics?
The U. S. swim team.

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I'd tell ya about my diск, but that would be a long story.

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^
|
| thats what your mom said last night
|

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I hate when I am about to hug someone really sеxy and my face hits the mirror.

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If everyone else jumped off a dock, I would too.
I'm a sucker for pier pressure.

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You're a воов. just tittin. you're my вrеаsт friend.

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Two words:
I hate math.

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I try to accomplish something before the microwave reaches zero.

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