Phone jokes

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A man and his wife agreed on a code to use in front of their kids when they want to have s*x.
The code is:
"Making a call."
One day the man ask his son to tell his mother, that dad wants to make a phone call.
The boy returns to his dad, that mom says she is out of order.
Then he ask him to tell her, that dad will go outside to make a phone call.
The boy returns, that mom says, "If you do so, she will open a central telephone station in the house."

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Q: Why did the Orphan get an IPhone X for their birthday?
A: Cause it don’t have a home button

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According to Apple what is the leading cause of iphone 6 overheating?
Downloading images of Candice Swanepoel.

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What has two wings and a halo?
A Chinese telephone.
Wing, Wing, Halo

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What do you call an iPhone that isn't kidding around?
Dead Siri-ous.

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What do you get if you cross a Kindle with an Apple iPhone 4S?
4Skin.

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Customer: “My youngest son was surfing the web last night and to my shock he was at a British comedy site.”
Tech Support: “Yes, what is the problem?”
Customer: “The ‘.uk’ at the end — doesn’t that stand for United Kingdom?”
Tech Support: “Yes.”
Customer: “Just great — I knew it!
He’s in trouble now!
He was there for almost a half hour!
How much does AOL charge for long distance?”
Tech Support: “It does not work that way.
You can surf anywhere without long distance charges.”
Customer: “No, I am sure AOL charges extra.
It doesn’t make any sense that they wouldn’t.
England is a long way away, they would lose millions not to.”
After trying to explain how the web worked, the customer refused to take my word and said she was going to call AOL.
A while later she called back.
Customer: “Well, AOL said you were correct; no long distance charge for overseas web sites.
I do have another question I thought of after I hung up with AOL.”
Tech Support: “Yes?”
Customer: “Do you think they charge extra for long distance email?”
Tech Support: “Trust me — they don’t.”
Customer: “Wonderful!
My oldest son works in Sweden.
He sends us email, but I was always afraid to reply because I didn’t know how much it would cost, so I just called him on the phone.
This will save us lots of money!
Still if AOL was smart they would charge for this service.”

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Chuck Norris put his phone on air-plane mode and flew it.

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Chuck Norris can hear sign language.

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Chuck Norris keeps a list of all his victims, it's called the phone book.

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Why did the blonde burn her ear?
The phone rang while she was ironing!

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Every mobile phone user has complained like this:
Don't text me while I'm in the middle of texting you, because now I have to change the whole text.

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Baby, if you were an iPhone 6, I would tap you all day!

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A man phones home from the office and tells his wife, "Something has just come up. I need to go fishing with the boss for the weekend.
We leave right away, so can you pack my clothes, my fishing equipment, and my blue silk pajamas? I'll be home in an hour to pick them up."
He hurries home, grabs everything and rushes off.
Sunday night, he returns.
His wife asks, "Did you have a good trip?"
"Oh yes, great! I think I really impressed the boss. But you forgot to pack my blue silk pajamas."
"Oh, no I didn't. I put them in your tackle box."

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Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11... a suicide.

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Teens are at an awkward stage in their lives.
They know how to make phone calls they just don't know how to end them.

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Chuck Norris was about to die... until the Grim Reaper phoned in sick.

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Pavlov walks into a bar.
The phone rings, and he says,
"Dамn, I forgot to feed the dog."

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