Religion jokes

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A young priest gets up in the morning and goes to breakfast.
On his way there two nuns look at him and he says, “Good morning sisters” and they reply in a sing song manner, “You got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning.”
This stuns the priest who thought he had been very polite but he just goes on.
He encounters a Brother a little while later along the way and he says,”Good morning Brother.” The Brother replies in a sing song voice, “You got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning.”
The priest looks confused at all this but goes on.
He gets a little farther and he comes across a fellow priest and he says, “Good morning Father.” The priest replies in a sing song manner, “You got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning.”
Now the priest was mad. He continues his walk to the dinning hall not saying a word to anyone.
The Bishop sees him and says, “Father …”
The young priest was not going to take any more even from the bishop.
He looks at the bishop and says, “No I did not get up on the wrong side of the bed this morning.”
The bishop looks at him stunned and says “What?”
The priest realized his mistake and said “I am sorry your holiness, what is it you want.”
The bishop looks at him and says, “All I was going to do was ask you why you had on Sister Ann’s shoes?”
Religion jokes
A young monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to helping the other monks in copying the old laws of the church by hand.
He notices, however, that all of the monks are copying from copies, not from the original manuscript. So, the new monk goes to the head monk to question this, pointing out that if someone made even a small error in the first copy, it would never be picked up! In fact, that error would be continued in all of the subsequent copies.
The head monk, says,
"We have been copying from the copies for centuries, but you make a good point, my son."
He goes down into the dark caves underneath the monastery where the original manuscripts are held as archives in a locked vault that hasn't been opened for hundreds of years. Hours go by and nobody sees the head monk.
So, the young monk gets worried and goes down to look for him. He sees him ваnging his head against the wall and wailing.
"We missed the R!
We missed the R!
We missed the R!"
His forehead is all вlооdy and bruised and he is crying uncontrollably. The young monk asks the head monk, "What's wrong, father?"
The head monk with tears in his eyes replies,
"The word is celebrate not celibate!"
Religion jokes
Religion jokes
Two nuns were shopping at a 7-Eleven store. As they passed by the вееr cooler, one nun said to the other, “Wouldn’t a nice cool вееr or two taste wonderful on a hot summer evening?”
The second nun answered, “Indeed it would, sister, but I would not feel comfortable buying вееr, since I am certain it would cause a scene at the checkout stand.”
“I can handle that without a problem,” the other nun replied, and she picked up a six-pack and headed for the checkout.
The cashier had a surprised look on his face when the two nuns arrived with a six-pack of вееr.
“We use вееr for washing our hair,” the nun said. “Back at the convent, we call it ‘Catholic shampoo.’ ”
Without blinking an eye, the cashier reached under the counter, pulled out a package of pretzel sticks, and placed them in the bag with the вееr. He then looked the nun straight in the eye, smiled, and said, “The curlers are on the house.”
Religion jokes