Student jokes

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A computer science student is studying under a tree and another pulls up on a flashy new bike. The first student asks, “Where’d you get that?”
The student on the bike replies, “While I was studying outside, a beautiful girl pulled up on her bike. She took off all her clothes and said, “You can have anything you want.””
The first student responds, “Good choice! Her clothes probably wouldn’t have fit you.”

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What do you call a high school student?
Alone and depressed.

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in English class the teacher says
(Teacher): Kids you need to say the alphabet ok Sally you first.
(Sally): Okay a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x y z.
(Teacher): good job Sally. Then the teacher called on 4 other students who got it right. Then the teacher called on little Johnny.
(Teacher): Little Johnny say the alphabet.
(Little Johnny): bcefghijklmnopsvwxyz.
(Teacher): no Johnny that’s not right.
(Johnny): oh I forgot u r a q t.
(Teacher). No still not right and thank you.
(Johnny): oh I’ll give you the d later .
(Class): (laughing). (Teacher): GO TO THE OFFICE NOW .

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Teacher: People with Depression never get anywhere in life.
Student 1: My mom has depression, but she died.
Student 2: My sister has depression and she’s going to Therapy.
Student 3: My Dad Has depression, and he’s Doing REALLY Well

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A professor was talking about the american dream. then, he asked the german exchange student if there was a german dream, to which the student replies “we did, but no one liked it.”

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The teacher asked her student to say the alphabet ,
The student recited the alphabet abcdefghijklmnoqrstuvwxyz,
Where’s the p,
He looked down to the floor and said : it’s running down my legs

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Yo' Mama is so sтuрid, she studied for her blood test.

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How many yankees does it take to sсrеw in an lightbulb?
None. Thats what rednecks are for.

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Yo momma is so sтuрid she threw a ball at the ground and missed.

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New Teacher: I was an orphan as a kid.
Students: OOF
Teacher: Is anyone missing.
Students: Your Parents

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Teacher: Describe a penguin
Student: Black, White, Beak
Teacher: Good, now describe an orphan
Student: Sad, maybe depressed, No family
Teacher: Amazing, now describe a cow
Student: Brown bun hair, red shirt, white skirt, pantyhose, and dollar tree shoes
Teacher: No! How does that describe a соw?
Student: It describes you tho.

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A middle schooler and his dad were at a drugstore. The boy picked up a pack of 3 condoms and asked his dad who they were for. The dad said “they’re for high schoolers: 1 for Friday, 1 for Saturday and 1 for Sunday.” The boy then picked up a 6 pack of condoms and asked his dad who they were for. The dad said “they’re for college students: 2 for Friday, 2 for Saturday and 2 for Sunday.” The kid then picked up a pack of 12 condoms and asked his dad who they were for. The dad said “they’re for married men: 1 for January, 1 for February…”

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Teacher: Ok Billy, what do you wanna be when you grow up?
Student: I wanna be the president!
Teacher: I don't thing you can.
Billy: ВIТСН, YOU SAID I COULD BE ANYTHING I WANTED!

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