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Technology

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Yo mama is so sтuрid that when the computer said "Press any key to continue", she couldn't find the 'Any' key.
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Умрял политик. Bill Gates im Himmel Προεκλογική εκστρατεία Ein braver Mann stirbt und kommt in den Himmel
Bill Gates goes to purgatory.
St. Peter says, "Now Bill, you have done some good things, and you have done some bad things. Now I am going to let you decide where you want to go".
First, St. Peter shows Bill an image of Неll with beautiful women running on beaches. Then, St Peter shows Bill an image of Heaven with robed angels playing harps on clouds.
Bill chooses Неll.
About a week later, St. Peter checks in on Bill in Неll and finds him being whipped by demons.
Bill says to St. Peter, "What happened to all the beautiful women and the beaches?"
St. Peter replies, "That was just the screen saver."
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Имаш ли Twitter?! - ¿Tienes Facebook? - Si - ¿Twitter? - Si - ¿Página Web? - Claro - ¿Instagram? - Si - ¿Vida? - Si
You know, I have Google+, Facebook, Twitter, Skype accounts...
Man, and do you have life?
OMG, No! Could you send me a link?
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Back in my day, we didn't watch TV while we ate dinner.
We actually talked to each other.
It was awful!
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My grandfather once told me "your generation is too reliant on technology."
So I replied "no, your generation is too reliant on technology!"
Then I disconnected his life support.
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Ik speelde vroeger voetbal
I used to play tennis, baseball, basketball and chess, but I stopped after my son broke my playstation.
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Three women talk about their husband's performance as lovers.
The first woman says, "My husband is a marriage counselor, so he always buys me flowers and candy before we make love."
The second woman says, "My husband is a motorcycle mechanic. He likes to play rough and use leather sometimes."
The third woman shakes her head and says, "My husband works for an Internet company. He just sits on the edge of the bed and tells me how great it's going to be when I get it."
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If Chuck Norris movies were in 3D, the audience would be dead.
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Yo mama is so sтuрid, she was looking for bluetooth at the orthodontist.
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Tres presidentes (Obama Tre uomini si stanno rilassando in una sauna quando all'improvviso si ode un trillo. Uno di essi porge una mano all'orecchio ed inizia a parlare; quando finisce si sente osservatissimo e spiega: Tres hombres están desnudos en la sauna. De repente algo empieza a pitar. El primer hombre Três homens estavam sentados nus na sauna. Um Americano Bill Gates Three guys are sitting in a sauna: a Mexican Eram três homens um Brasileiro um Chinês e um Argentino. O Chinês todo esperto enventou um celular na mão e disse: -Olha Brasileiro olha Argentino. E os dois: -Nooooooooooooooossa. e o... Soudain Japanilainen Suomalainen
Three men are sitting nакеd in the sauna.
Suddenly there is a beeping sound.
The first man presses his forearm and the beeping stops.
The others look at him questioningly.
"That's my pager," he says.
"I have a microchip under the skin of my arm."
A few minutes later a phone rings.
The second man lifts his palm to his ear.
When he finishes he explains, "That's my mobile phone. I have a microchip in my hand."
The third man, feeling decidedly low-tech, steps out of the sauna.
In a few minutes he returns with a piece of toilet paper extending from his rear.
The others raise their eyebrows.
"I'm getting a fax," he explains.
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A girl started noticing a guy who stands in front of her home everyday in the evening.
She noticed the guy always comes mostly in the evenings and weekends.
The guy never tried to talk to her nor showed any gesture, he just moves here and there by looking into his mobile phone and occasionally stealing a stare at her.
It went on like that for a year and the girl understood the guy was in love with her but was too shy to express his feelings.
So, she told her parents.
They too saw him and liked him.
They discussed with her grandparents about a likely marriage.
But wanted her to make the first move.
The next day, she went to him and said, Hi. I'm Jada.
He said, Hi. I'm Smith.
Hearing this, the girl was very happy as the names were matching like Will Smith and Jada Pinkett.
The girl went on and said, I really appreciate your patience and decency.
You have been standing in front of my home everyday for about a year now.
So, I understand that you are in love with me but too shy to say it.
I think i really like you too and would love it if we get married.
The guy smiled and said, Forgive me sister! Actually your home's WIFI doesn't have a password. So, i come here every evening after work to use free wi-fi to chat with my girlfriend.
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Someone figured out my password.
Now I have to rename my dog.
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How many Microsoft technicians does it take to sсrеw in a light bulb?
None, they would just declare darkness the new standard TM
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"Backspace key"... hiding feelings since ages.
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Q: What do computers and air conditions have in common?
A: They're both become useless when you open windows.
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A guy tells his friends: The girl I was dating broke my heart, so I broke her Apple iPhone 5. You all know who cried more
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Yo mama so sтuрid that when you told her the mouse on her computer was broken she took it to the vet.
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It was reported this week that Google would soon launch its own cellphone as a challenge to the iPhone.
Also a challenge to the iPhone?
Making phone calls.
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