Valentine's Day Jokes, Valentines day

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Despite receiving five Valentine’s cards at work today, I’ve never felt so low.
I wish we had a woman in the office.

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Friend: Hey, have you got a date for Valentines Day?
Me: Yes, February 14.

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Q) What did the chef give his wife on Valentine's Day?
A) A hug and a quiche.

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I Just Booked a Table for Valentines Night….
I do hope she likes Snooker.

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You know you’ve had a bad Valentine’s Day when the lamppost by the pub gets more cards and flowers than you.

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Husband text his wife and types, "Whale you be my valentine?"
Wife replied: " Dolphinately!"

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Seeing as it’s Valentine’s Day I popped the question this morning to my girlfriend
“So you gunna take it up the аrsе or what then ?”

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What did the boy cat say to the girl cat on Valentine's Day? You're purrr-fect for me!

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I require three things in a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and sтuрid.

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For the past eight months, since Valentine’s Day, I have been trying to find the dude that sent my g/f a Valentine’s card and a dozen long-stemmed roses.
…
…
The guy needs serious psychiatric help.

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For fсuк’s sake, what a mess to sort out.
I can’t believe I’ve mixed their Valentine’s Day cards up.
The girlfriend now thinks I love her and the wife thinks I want to fсuк her.

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Anybody know the postal address for РоrnНuв?
I want to get a valentines day card out to them.

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Do skunks celebrate Valentine's Day? Sure, they're very scent-imental!

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Why did the boy go out with a prune?
Because he couldn't find a date.

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I may not be able to celebrate Valentines day, but at least w*nkers like me can still celebrate palm Sunday.

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Why do cannibal's hate valentines day?
They can never find a sweet heart

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Valentines day I walk to a girl and be like I.....L.....L.....LO......LOVE.....y...yo........yogurt :P

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Dear men, "I don't want anything for Valentine's Day" is the same as "I'm fine." You're welcome.

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