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Вицове за вампири English Vampirwitze Chistes de vampiros Анекдоты про вампиров Blagues de vampires Barzellette sui vampiri Αστεια για βαμπίρ Вицови за вампири Vampir şakaları Жарти про вампірів Piadas de vampiros Żarty o wampirach Vampyrskämt Vampiergrappen Vampyrvitigheder Vampyrvitser Vampyyrijutut Vámpír viccek Glume despre vampiri Vtipy o upírech Anekdotai apie vampyrus Joki par vampīriem Vicovi o vampirima
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Vampire jokes

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Yo mama so fат when Dracula bit her he said "1 diabete, 2 diabete, 3 diabete".
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Вампирки Τι λέει μια λεσβία βρυκόλακας σε μια λεσβία βρυκόλακα ;;; Deux lesbiennes vampires discutent : Любимата фраза на вампирите-лезбийки: Хайде чао Quelle est la phrase préférée des vampires lesbiennes ? - Bon Que se disent deux vampires lesbiennes lorsqu'elles se quittent? A dans 28 jours !!! Wie verabschieden sich 2 weibliche Vampire? - "Bis nächsten Monat." Den ene lesbiske vampyren til den andre: - Ser deg neste måned. Cosa dice una vampira lesbica alla propria amante? Ci vediamo il prossimo mese! Due vampire lesbiche si salutano: "Allora Ci sono 2 vampiresse lesbiche distese sul letto intente a fare un 69. Ad un certo punto si alzano What do lesbian vampires say after sex? “See you next month.” What did the lesbian vampire say to the heterosexual woman after the lesbian vampire was done licking the pussy of the heterosexual woman? when is your next blood period? What did the lesbian vampire say to the heterosexual woman after she was done licking her pussy after she was done having her blood period? I will be back next month
What did the lеsвiаn vampire say to the other lеsвiаn vampire?
See ya next month.
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Q: How do you know your doctor is a vampire?
A: He draws your blood from your neck with a straw!
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Q: What's grosser than gross?
A: Two vampires fighting over a used тамроn.
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Q: Whats the height of desperation?
A: A vampire suскing blood from a sanitary napkin.
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Count Dracula once bit Chuck Norris and immediately turned vegetarian.
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"Where are you going to take Vampira on your date?" asked one vampire.
"Oh, I thought we'd go to the movies, and then get a quick bite."
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What did the skeleton say to the vampire?
You suск.What do ghosts use to wash their hair?
Sham-boo!What kind of instrument do you play on Halloween?
A Sроок-ulele.What kind of key does a ghost use to unlock his room? A Spoo-keyWhy do skeletons have low self-esteem?
They have no body to love.How do vampires get around on Halloween?
In blood vesselsWhat did the teenage witch ask her mother on Halloween?
Can i have the keys to the broom tonight.
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Q: How do you know you're in a vampire bar?
A: There's a string hanging out of your Вlооdy Mary.
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Βρυκόλακες Το τσάι Трима вампири сядат в кафене. Trois vampires se retrouvent à un bar. Le premier commande un verre de sang chaud. Le deuxième commande un verre de sang froid. Le troisième commande un verre d'eau chaude. Les deux autres le regardent tout étonnés. Dracula entre dans un bar de vampires et demande au serveur : C'est trois vampires qui sont dans un bar. Le premier vampire commande un verre de sang chaud.Le deuxième commande un verre de sang froid. Le troisième commande un verre d'eau chaude! Les deux autres le regardent et lui pose la question : - Pourquoi un verre d'eau chaude ? Le troisième répond -... Един ден двама вампири влезли в бар. Първият казал: - Чаша топла кръв Een Nederlandse Eine Vampirdame setzt sich an eine Bar und sagt zu dem Barkeeper: "Ich hätte gerne eine Tasse mit heißem Wasser." Der Barkeeper fragt erstaunt: "Wieso wollen sie denn Wasser? Sie sollten lieber... Drei Vampire treffen sich in einer Bar. Einer kommt aus Deutschland Ein Vampir geht in eine Bar und bestellt sich ein heißes Glas Wasser.Da fragt der Wirt neugierig: "Hmm Sitzt ein Eglischer Vampir in einem Kaffe und bestellt eine Tasse heißes Wasser holt einen benutzten Tampong aus der Tasche und sagt genüslich i’ts Tea Time Zwei Vampire gehen in ein Restaurant. Der Eine bestellt sich eine Schale Blut A vampire goes into to the bar and and for a glass of hot water. The bartender says Van tres vampiros a un bar a tomarse algo en pleno mes de agosto There was a vampire who walked into a vampire bar and asked the bartender for a glass of hot water. The bartender asked what for Trzy wampiry wchodzą do baru. Pierwszy z nich siada 3 vampires se retrouvent dans un bar lugubre Kolme vampyyriä meni baariin. Ensimmäinen tilasi pienen lasillisen verta 3 vampires walk into a bar. The first one orders a Bloody Mary. The second orders a Bloody Mary. The bartender turns to the third and asks “a Bloody Mary?” The vampire shakes his head. “Hot water... 3 vampieren stappen een caf� binnen. De eerste vampier bestelt een glaasje A negatief en hij drinkt het op. De tweede bestelt een glaasje O negatief opgewarmd. De derde bestelt een glaasje kokend... A vampire walks into a bar Alcuni vampiri stanno bevendo un drink al loro bar. Entra Dracula e chiede al barista: “Una tazza di acqua bollente”. Il barista e gli altri vampiri lo guardano male. Allora lui tira fuori un...
The bartender looks a little worried, but asks him what would he like.
"A cup of boiled water please"
"Water? I thought you guys drank blood"
"Today I was in the mood for tea", says the vampire while taking out a тамроn.
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What's grosser than gross?
Two vampires fighting over a вlооdy тамроn.
What's grosser than that?
Finding a used соndом on the bottom of a mayonnaise jar.
What's grosser than that?
When you open the refigerator and the ruмр rost farts in your face.
You want to know what's grosser than that?
When you sit on your grandpa's lap and he pops a воnеr.
But the one thing that is grosser than that is when you are siting on your grandma's lap and she pops a воnеr.
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Knock Knock
Who's there?
Tripoli!
Tripoli who?
Tripoli play!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Tsongas!
Tsongas who?
Tsongas you're here, lets tell some Knock Knock
jokes!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Tuna!
Tuna who?
Tuna piano and it'll sound better!

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Tunis!
Tunis who?
Tunis company, three's a crowd!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Turin!
Turin who?
Turin to a vampire on Halloween!
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What did the mother vampire say to her daughter when she picked up a тамроn?
"Honey, no in-between meal snacks!"
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Βρυκόλακες Το τσάι Трима вампири сядат в кафене. Trois vampires se retrouvent à un bar. Le premier commande un verre de sang chaud. Le deuxième commande un verre de sang froid. Le troisième commande un verre d'eau chaude. Les deux autres le regardent tout étonnés. Dracula entre dans un bar de vampires et demande au serveur : C'est trois vampires qui sont dans un bar. Le premier vampire commande un verre de sang chaud.Le deuxième commande un verre de sang froid. Le troisième commande un verre d'eau chaude! Les deux autres le regardent et lui pose la question : - Pourquoi un verre d'eau chaude ? Le troisième répond -... Един ден двама вампири влезли в бар. Първият казал: - Чаша топла кръв Een Nederlandse Eine Vampirdame setzt sich an eine Bar und sagt zu dem Barkeeper: "Ich hätte gerne eine Tasse mit heißem Wasser." Der Barkeeper fragt erstaunt: "Wieso wollen sie denn Wasser? Sie sollten lieber... Drei Vampire treffen sich in einer Bar. Einer kommt aus Deutschland Ein Vampir geht in eine Bar und bestellt sich ein heißes Glas Wasser.Da fragt der Wirt neugierig: "Hmm Sitzt ein Eglischer Vampir in einem Kaffe und bestellt eine Tasse heißes Wasser holt einen benutzten Tampong aus der Tasche und sagt genüslich i’ts Tea Time Zwei Vampire gehen in ein Restaurant. Der Eine bestellt sich eine Schale Blut A vampire goes into to the bar and and for a glass of hot water. The bartender says Van tres vampiros a un bar a tomarse algo en pleno mes de agosto The bartender looks a little worried Trzy wampiry wchodzą do baru. Pierwszy z nich siada 3 vampires se retrouvent dans un bar lugubre Kolme vampyyriä meni baariin. Ensimmäinen tilasi pienen lasillisen verta 3 vampires walk into a bar. The first one orders a Bloody Mary. The second orders a Bloody Mary. The bartender turns to the third and asks “a Bloody Mary?” The vampire shakes his head. “Hot water... 3 vampieren stappen een caf� binnen. De eerste vampier bestelt een glaasje A negatief en hij drinkt het op. De tweede bestelt een glaasje O negatief opgewarmd. De derde bestelt een glaasje kokend... A vampire walks into a bar Alcuni vampiri stanno bevendo un drink al loro bar. Entra Dracula e chiede al barista: “Una tazza di acqua bollente”. Il barista e gli altri vampiri lo guardano male. Allora lui tira fuori un...
There was a vampire who walked into a vampire bar and asked the bartender for a glass of hot water.
The bartender asked what for, because everyone else was drinking blood.
The vampire pulled out a вlооdy тамроn and said "TEA TIME!"
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Three vampires walk into a bar. The first one says, "I'll have a pint of blood."
The second one says, "I'll have one, too."
The third one says, "I'll have a pint of plasma."
The bartender says, "So, that'll be two Bloods and a Blood Lite?"
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Каква е разликата между вампир и адвокат? Was ist der Unterschied zwischen Vampiren und Rechtsanwälten? Vampire saugen nur bei Nacht Blut. Hvad er forskellen på en advokat og en vampyr? Vampyren suger kun blod om natten. Mitä eroa on asianajajalla ja vampyyrilla? - Vampyyrit imevät verta ainoastaan öisin
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?
A: A vampire only suскs blood at night.
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A witch joke
How did the witch feel after she was run over by a car?
Tyred!
A cannibal joke
What do cannibal secretaries do with leftover fingernails?
They file them!
A ghost joke
Where do undertakers go in October?
The hearse of the year show!
A vampire joke
What's a vampire's favourite dance?
The fangdango!
A Halloween joke
What did the really ugly man do for a living?
He posed for Halloween masks!
A witch joke
How do witches lose weight?
They join weight witches!
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A ghost joke
What do ghosts say when a girl footballer is sent off?
Ban-she Ban-she!
A vampire joke
What do vampires have at eleven o'clock every day?
A coffin break!
A witch joke
Why did the baby witch smile when she came out in blotches?
Because it was an 'appy rash!
A Halloween joke
Why was the little boy unhappy to win first prize for the best costume at the Halloween party?
Because he just came to pick up his sister!
A cannibal joke
Why didn't the cannibal eat Mike Tyson?
He thought he would give him a paunch!
A witch joke
Why did the witch wear a green felt pointy hat?
So she could walk across snooker tables without being seen!
A witch joke
What has six legs and flies?
A witch giving her cat a ride!
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