Vegan and Vegetarian Jokes

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A vegan said to me, people who sell meat are disgusting
I replied, people who sell fruits and vegetables are grocer.

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Why do Vegans like to make their food look and taste like meat?
Same reason lеsвiаns use strap-ons. They still like putting meat in their hole, but they don't like where real meat comes from.

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What's the toughest part of being a vegan?
Apparently keeping it to yourself.

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Yo momma is so vegan and fат...
.. That she ate a meal and got arrested for deforestation.

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Did you hear about the vegan transgender?
He was a herbefore.

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An atheist, a vegan, and a crossfitter walk into a bar...
I only know because they told everyone within two minutes.

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What's the hardest part of making a vegan pizza?
Skinning the vegan.

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Time to enjoy of organic, vegan, gluten free food

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I am not a vegetarian because I love animals.
I am vegetarian because I hate plants

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Today, I met Bruce Lee's vegetarian brother, Broco Lee.

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I'm 95% vegan now...
Basically, I'm vegan all the time. Except when I'm eating

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Why did the vegan cross the road?
To tell someone he was a vegan.

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So one day a boy asked a girl can you suск my diск, and the girl replied "No I am a vegetarian, I smoke them trees."

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Why did the Taco Веll waiter get me a chicken taco when I am a vegetarian? It was just a bad queso miscommunication.

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My roommate's cellphone broke
He wants me to let you guys know he's vegan

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A stranger just came up to me and told me she was vegan...
I swear I've met herbivore

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So I met a vegan.
I'd finish the joke, but she's still talking.

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This girl was handing out vegan pamphlets when she said she recognized me
I said I never met herbivore

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