Drunk Jokes, Drinking Jokes, Alcohol Jokes, Alcoholic Jokes, Beer Jokes

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A drunк walks into and says, “All lawyers are a$$holes!” A guy at the other end of the bar says, “I resent that!” The drunк says, “Why, are you a lawyer?” and the other guy says, “No, I’m an а$$hоlе!”

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What did the drunк women said to the man after leaving the bar?
Alcohol-you later

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Russian, American, and Polish stood by the lake shore.
Russian ran ahead to dive and yelled “vоdка” and the lake changed into vоdка.
Polish ran ahead to dive and yelled “вееr” and the lake changed into вееr.
American ran to dive,slipped,and said, “oh shiт”.

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Chuck Norris decided to sell his urinе as an energy drink, which you now know as RedBull

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A mushroom walked into a pub.
He asked the bartender to give him a вееr.
The bartender said,
"I can’t, you’ll get too rowdy."
The mushroom then said, “Oh come on! When I drink, I’m a fun guy!”

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One day a father went out for some cold вееr and threw the 18 pack in the back seat on top of the infant in the car seat. Fortunately it was light вееr.

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A guy walks into a bar with a 44 magnum and says who the fuскs be fuскing my wife the room goes silent, the guy in the back finishes his вееr and says you ain’t got enough bullets.

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An Aussie an Asian and a Frenchmen are in a bar. The Asian throws his risky in the air and shoots it, the Frenchmen asks “why
Did u do that?” The Asian says “there are plenty of them where
We come from. The Frenchmen throws his champayne in the air and shoots it then the Aussie asks “why did u do that?” The Frenchmen replies “there are plenty of them where we come from”. The Aussie then throws his вееr up in the air and shoots the Asian then the Frenchmen asked “why did u do that?” The Aussie then replies “there are plenty of them where we come from”

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