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Вицове за Животни English Tier-Witze, Tierwitze, Tier Wi... Chistes de animales про животных Blagues sur les animaux Barzellette Animali Ανέκδοτα με ζώα животни Hayvan Fıkraları, Hayvanlar Al... Анекдоти про Тварин, Анекдоти ... Piadas de Animais Dowcipy i kawały: Zwierzęta Djurvitsar, Djur-Skämt, Djur s... Dieren moppen, Dierenmop, Dier... Vitser om dyr Dyrevitser, Vitser om dyr Eläinvitsit Állatos viccek Bancuri Animale Anekdoty a vtipy o zvířátkách ... Anekdotai apie gyvūnus Anekdotes par dzīvniekiem Vicevi o životinjama
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Animal Jokes

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Q: What does a vulgаr chicken say?
A: F**k, f**k, f**k...
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What do a walrus and tupperware have in common?
They both like a tight seal!
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Q: What kind of pillar can't hold up a building?
A: A caterpillar.
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Two whales are swimming along one day, bored. One whale spots a ship and suggests to the other, "Hey, why don''t we swim under that boat, and spurt out water so it tips over?"
"Well," says the other whale, "I''ll give it a вlоw job, but I refuse to swallow any sea men!"
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What do you do with a blue whale?
Cheer it up!
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Q: What's purple and leaps from tree to tree?
A: Squirrel!
Q: Then why is it purple?
A: It choked on a nut...'
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A fly flies back and forth over a river repeatedly, dropping five inches each time. A fish sees it and decides it will jump and catch it when it drops.
A bear sees the fish and decides it will get the fish when it jumps.
A hunter with a cheese sandwich in his pocket sees the bear and waits for it to go for the fish to shoot it.
A mouse sees the cheese sandwich and decides to wait for the hunter to shoot so that the sandwich will fall and he can get it.
A cat sees the mouse and decides to wait for it to go for the sandwich to jump and catch it.
So, the fly drops, the fish jumps, the bear goes for it, the hunter shoots, the sandwich falls, the mouse goes for it, and the cat jumps, but he misses and goes into the water.
The moral of the story: when the fly drops five inches, the рussy gets wet.
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Where's Ice Cube, Eve, and Cedric?
Q: Where did the sheep get its haircut?
A: The ba-ba shop
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Q: What's black and white and red all over?
A: An embarassed zebra!
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Q: What is a fly without wings?
A: A walk.
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Q: What's a wok?
A: Something you throw at a wabbit.
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Q: Why did the duck travel to a dangerous neighborhood?
A: He wanted to buy some quack.
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What do you call a monket...
What do you call a monkey lost in a desert?
Scewed
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Q: How do you talk to a fish?
A: You drop him a line.
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What's the only animal that has to be oiled?
A mouse. Why? 'Cause it squeaks!
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Q: Why did the ant fall off the toilet bowl?
A: He got рissеd off.
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Two hedgehogs are in the middle of the road by a zebra crossing. One says, "Don't cross here!"
The other one says, "Why not?"
The first one says, "Look what happened to this zebra!"
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What idiот called it a vet, instead of a dogtor?
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