• Home
  • Joke Categories
  • Popular
  • Jokes From our facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/Jokes-441655979354080)
  • Funny pictures
  • Most popular
  • Newest jokes
  • Aviation Jokes
  • Christmas Jokes
  • Dad Jokes
  • Genie jokes
  • Gynaecology Jokes, Gynaecologist Jokes
  • Jewish Jokes
  • Jokes about Police Officers
  • Jokes From our facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/Jokes-441655979354080)
  • Knock-knock jokes
  • Lawyer Jokes
  • Masturbation jokes
  • Mother in law jokes
  • Nurse jokes
  • Old People Jokes
  • Political Joke
  • Psychology, Psychotherapy, and psychiatry jokes, Shrinks Jokes
  • Rude Jokes
  • Scots jokes, Scotsman Jokes, Scottish jokes, Scotland Jokes
  • Sex Jokes
  • Soccer jokes, Football jokes
  • Vulgar jokes
  • Weed Jokes
  • Animal Jokes
  • Blonde Jokes
  • Chuck Norris
  • Dark Humor
  • Dirty jokes
  • Doctor's jokes, Health Jokes, Medical joke
  • Donald Trump Jokes
  • Drunk Jokes, Drinking Jokes, Alcohol Jokes, Alcoholic Jokes, Beer Jokes
  • Gross jokes, Disgusting jokes
  • Jokes about Women
  • Kids jokes, Toddler Jokes, Children jokes
  • Marriage Jokes, Family Jokes
  • Putin jokes, Vladimir Putin Jokes
  • Religion jokes
  • School Jokes
  • Sports Jokes
  • Work Jokes, Office Jokes
Вицове за Животни English Tier-Witze, Tierwitze, Tier Wi... Chistes de animales про животных Blagues sur les animaux Barzellette Animali Ανέκδοτα με ζώα животни Hayvan Fıkraları, Hayvanlar Al... Анекдоти про Тварин, Анекдоти ... Piadas de Animais Dowcipy i kawały: Zwierzęta Djurvitsar, Djur-Skämt, Djur s... Dieren moppen, Dierenmop, Dier... Vitser om dyr Dyrevitser, Vitser om dyr Eläinvitsit Állatos viccek Bancuri Animale Anekdoty a vtipy o zvířátkách ... Anekdotai apie gyvūnus Anekdotes par dzīvniekiem Vicevi o životinjama
My Jokes Edit Profile Logout
  1. Newest jokes
  2. Animal Jokes

Animal Jokes

Add a joke Newest jokes Most popular
The snake jumps up to bite him; he blocks it away. He looks up and he goes, 'Oh, he's grumpy today.' Yeah, he's grumpy because you're ваnging him in the head with a stick. That's the number one cause of grumpiness.
0
0
4
She's so wrinkled, her mother was a Shar Pei.
0
0
4
A Life Guard is walking along a beach when she sees a man splashing around feverishly in the ocean. “Help, shark! Help!” he cries. …
…
The Life guard laughs, because she knows the shark will never help that man.
0
0
4

What's the most poular Christmas carol in the desert? Oh caaamel ye faithful.
0
0
4
Walking our dogs one morning my friend and I noticed they were both looking intently at a large cat.
My friend turned to me and said,
"Now that's a cat scan!"
0
0
4
Chukchuk is in a Quiz Contest trying to win Prize money of Rs.1 Million US$
The questions are as follows:
1) How long was the 100 yr war?
A) 116
B) 99
C) 100
D) 150
Chukchuk says,
"I will skip this"
2) In which country are the Panama hats made?
A) brasil
B) chile
C) panama
D) ecuador
Chukchuk asks for help from the University students
3) In which month do the Russians celebrate the October Revolution?
A) january
B) september
C) october
D) november
Sardar asks for help from general public
4) Which of these was King George VI first name?
A) eder
B) albert
C) george
D) manoel
Chukchuk asks for lucky cards
5) The Canary Islands, in the Pacific Ocean, Has its name x-udd on which animal:
A) canary bird
B) kangaroo
C) puppy
D) rat!
Chukchuk gives up.
Scroll down.......
If you think you are indeed clever and laughed at Chukchuk 's replies, then please check the answers below:
1) The 100-year war lasted 116 years from1337-1453
2) The Panama hat is made in Ecuador
3) The October revolution is celebrated in November
4) King George's first name was Albert. In 1936 He changed his name.
5) Puppy. The Latin name is INSULARIA CANARI This means islands of the puppies. Now tell me who's the dumb one... Don' Ever Laugh at a Chukchuk again.
(ChukChuk community lives some where in Siberia)
0
0
4
Osama-bin-Laden had traveled into town after several weeks in the desert with his trusty camel. The camel had been his sole companion for years but eventually, time had slowed the poor beast down.
Laden was considering getting a new camel when he saw a sign outside of a store: WE MAKE YOUR CAMELS TRAVEL FASTER. GUARANTEED OR YOUR MONEY BACK!
He looks at his camel and decides to give it a shot. He goes in the store with his camel and the vendor asks him,” What can I do for you?”
“Well, friend” Laden replies, “I noticed your sign and I’m interested in your help. You see my camel’s been slowing down a bit and I don’t really want to trade him in for a new one.”
The vendor says, “That won’t be necessary here. We make your camels run faster. It’s guaranteed.”
“OK Let’s do it.”
The vendor says, “Please pull your camel over this way onto the platform.”
While Osama is steadying his camel onto the platform, the vendor disappears into another room and returns with two large bricks.
“Stand back,” he cautions Laden.
The vendor goes behind the camel with bricks in hand, and smashes the camel’s ваlls. The camel runs out of the place like a bat out of hеll.
“Wow!,” says Osama, “That’s the fastest I’ve seen him run in years! But how am I going to reach him now?”
The vendor says with a smile, “Please step onto the platform, sir.”
0
0
4
My doctor said that I should watch what I eat so I’ve decided to go to the Grand-National!
0
0
4
Managed to have sеx with my girlfriend for 1 hour 30 minutes doggy style last night. That’s 4 minutes in human time.
0
0
4
A snail goes to buy a car and looks at several models. He looks a the 'z' car, an 'x' car, and an 's' car.
He decides to buy the 's' car.
Now when he drives down the street, everyone says look at that 's'-car-go!
0
0
4
A fly was sitting on a completely bald person's head.
Second fly lands there and comments, "Nice, clean home."
First fly says,
"This is not a home, it's just the plot."
0
0
4
I used to have an addiction to rolling around in pig sh*t but now I’ve been clean for almost 3 years.
0
0
4

Two camels, a father and son are grazing. The younger camel looks up to his father and says “Dad! Why do we have these giant humps on our backs?” The father camel looks down on the son and says. “Why, so we can travel for miles in the desert without stopping for water.” The young camel looks astonished and says “Wow, I didn’t know that!”
A few minutes later, the younger camel pips up again “Dad! Why do we have really thick eyelids?” The older father, rather agitated by his son’s curiosity, answers quickly. “So that our eyes are not scratched by sand storms. “Wow!” The young camel says…
Another minute later and the father camel hears his son again. “Dad!”.
“What now!” The father camel asks. The son then asks. “Why do we have huge feet?”
“Well son.” The father camel starts. “We need to tread through the sand and out feet are big so we can travel much easier…”
A few minutes pass before the father hears his son again. The father camel, clearly agitated turns round. “What!?”
“Dad…. What the fuск are we doing in a zoo then?”
0
0
4
Our teacher asked what my favorite animal was, and I said,
"Fried chicken."
She said I wasn't funny, but she couldn't have been right, because everyone else laughed. My parents told me to always tell the truth. I did. Fried chicken is my favorite animal. I told my dad what happened, and he said my teacher was probably a member of PETA. He said they love animals very much. I do, too. Especially chicken, pork and beef.
Anyway, my teacher sent me to the principal's office. I told him what happened, and he laughed, too. Then he told me not to do it again.
The next day in class, my teacher asked me what my favorite live animal was. I told her it was chicken. She asked me why, so I told her it was because you could make them into fried chicken. She sent me back to the principal's office. He laughed, and told me not to do it again.
I don't understand. My parents taught me to be honest, but my teacher doesn't like it when I am. Today, my teacher asked me to tell her what famous person I admired most.
I told her, "Colonel Sanders."
Guess where I am now ...
0
0
4
“I’m getting sick of eating airline food all the time.”
Said the Malaysian shark.
0
0
4
A sign at Budapest’s Zoo requests:
Please do not feed the animals.
If you have any suitable food give it to the guard on duty
0
0
4
We fishing the other day, and I get hammered and I'm like, 'I gotta take a leak.' So, I start peeing in the lake -- realized I was in the fish tank up at the Red Lobster. Thank God they put some rubber bands on them lobster pinchers, I tell you that much. Good lord, I'd be up here half-c**ked right now.
0
0
4
Two men are in a truck driving around with a реnguin. Noticing the реnguin, a traffic cop stops the truck driver and tells him to take this animal to a zoo right away. The next day, the same cop sees the same two men in the same truck with the same реnguin again.
He stops them and says,
"Didn't I tell you guys to take this animal to a zoo yesterday?"
The driver replies,
"We did officer! We are taking him to the movies today."
0
0
4
  • Previous
  • Next

Privacy and Policy Contact Us