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Вицове за Животни English Tier-Witze, Tierwitze, Tier Wi... Chistes de animales про животных Blagues sur les animaux Barzellette Animali Ανέκδοτα με ζώα животни Hayvan Fıkraları, Hayvanlar Al... Анекдоти про Тварин, Анекдоти ... Piadas de Animais Dowcipy i kawały: Zwierzęta Djurvitsar, Djur-Skämt, Djur s... Dieren moppen, Dierenmop, Dier... Vitser om dyr Dyrevitser, Vitser om dyr Eläinvitsit Állatos viccek Bancuri Animale Anekdoty a vtipy o zvířátkách ... Anekdotai apie gyvūnus Anekdotes par dzīvniekiem Vicevi o životinjama
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Animal Jokes

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What did the bee say to the flower?
"Hi, honey."
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What is the most important use for cowhide?
To hold the соw together.
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That tornado damage your соw barn any?
Dunno.
Haven't found the durn thing yet.
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Girl: We have a mayor. Do you?
Horse: Sure!
Girl: What do you call it?
Horse: Same as you do. Mare!
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If they made a movie starring the Loch Ness monster and the great white shark from Jaws, what would the movie be called?
Loch Jaws.
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What do you get if you cross a соw with a spaniel, a poodle, and a rooster?
A cockerpoodlemoo.
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What was the name of the film about a killer lion that swam underwater?
Claws.
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What do dinosaurs put on their floors?
Rep-tiles.
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Por que as aranhas viúvas negras matam o macho depois da cópula? Para acabar com o ronco antes que ele comece ...
Why do black widow spiders кill their males after mating?
To stop the snoring before it starts.
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Why don't lobsters share?
They re shellfish.
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What do cows read at the breakfast table?
The moospaper.
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A guy goes into an antique shop.
He's browsing around the shop and comes across a brass rat.
He picks up the rat and is looking at it when the shop owner approaches him.
He asks the owner how much the Brass Rat is.
The shop owner says $20 For the rat and $10 for the story behind it.
The customers say I don't need to know the story but I'll buy the rat.
So he pays for the rat and leaves the shop.
After about 50 yards he hears a Wierd noise behind him and so looks around.
There's a bunch of rats following him so he picks up the pace a walks faster but the noise gets louder.
He glances behind and there are hundreds of rats following him so he starts to run.
Still, the noise gets louder and there are thousands of rats chasing him.
He comes to a bridge over the river and thinks the rats are chasing him because of the Brass Rat, he has so he throws the rat as far as he can into the river.
All the rats that were chasing him then all jump into the river and drown.
The guy thinks for a while and then walks back to the shop.
As he enters the shop the owner who saw him coming said I bet you came back for the story behind the Brass Rat did you?
The customer says no I didn't.
Have you got a brass Niggеr?
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Two cows are standing in a field.
One says to the other "Are you worried about Mad Соw Disease?"
The other one says "No, It doesn't worry me, I'm a horse!"
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Who held the baby octopus to ransom?
Squidnappers.
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How do you know when you re eating rabbit stew?
When it has hares in it.
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Which day of the week do chickens hate most?
Fry-day!
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Animal testing is a terrible idea;
They get all nervous and give the wrong answers.
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What is a dolphin's favorite TV show?
Whale of fortune.
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