Animal Jokes

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How are black people and wolves similar?
They both fight in packs

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What kind of car does a rabbit drive?
A furrari

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What do you call a rabbit who works in a bakery?
A yeaster bunny.

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Chuck Norris once wrestled a thirty foot snake, and then he realized he was just маsтurватing.

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Little Johnny wanted to go to the zoo and pestered his parents for days.
Finally his mother talked his reluctant father into taking him.
"So how was it?" his mother asked when they returned home.
"Great," Little Johnny replied.
"Did you and daddy have a good time?" asked his mother.
"Yeah, daddy really liked it too," exclaimed Little Johnny, "especially when one of the animals came home at 30 to 1!"

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It takes a master to shoot a fly from a hundred Paces, but it takes a Chuck Norris to roundhouse-kick one from a thousand.

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Once, on the set of Walker Texas Ranger, a goat fell over dead.
Chuck Norris ran up to the goat and beard rubbed it back to life.

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What do you call 100 rabbits walking backwards?
A receding hare line.

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What's the difference between Chuck Norris and a bear?
Chuck Norris has more chest hair.

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What does a соw make when the sun comes out?
A shadow.

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My ex girlfriend has a tattoo of a shell on her inner thigh.
If you put your ear up to it... you can smell the ocean.

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What do you get if you cross a соw, a french fry, and a sofa?
A cowch potato.

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Why was the horse all charged up?
It ate some haywire!

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Chuck Norris eats black holes for breakfast.
They taste like chicken.

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I named my dog Chuck Norris, but I couldn't train him because no one tells Chuck Norris what to do.

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Tom, Frank, and Harry are fishing in a boat.
Frank stands up to get a вееr, loses his balance, falls in the lake, and dissapears.
After a few minutes, and no sign of Frank, Tom tells Harry he better go in after him.
Harry drags him into the boat and notices hes not breathing.
"Better give him mouth-to-mouth" says Tom.
"Whew! I don't remember him having this bad of breath!" says Harry.
Tom replies,
"Oh yeah, well I don't remember him wearing a snowmobile suit!"

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One day a man and a giraffe go to a pub they have a couple of drinks then on their way out the giraffe falls over and blocks the door the bar.
Man says "you can leave that lion here."
The man said "it's not a lion its a giraffe you idiот."

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Racehorses have to рее like Chuck Norris.

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