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Вицове за Животни English Tier-Witze, Tierwitze, Tier Wi... Chistes de animales про животных Blagues sur les animaux Barzellette Animali Ανέκδοτα με ζώα животни Hayvan Fıkraları, Hayvanlar Al... Анекдоти про Тварин, Анекдоти ... Piadas de Animais Dowcipy i kawały: Zwierzęta Djurvitsar, Djur-Skämt, Djur s... Dieren moppen, Dierenmop, Dier... Vitser om dyr Dyrevitser, Vitser om dyr Eläinvitsit Állatos viccek Bancuri Animale Anekdoty a vtipy o zvířátkách ... Anekdotai apie gyvūnus Anekdotes par dzīvniekiem Vicevi o životinjama
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Animal Jokes

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1. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to wake up with a breath that could knock a buzzard off a wreaking dead animal that is one hundred yards away.
2. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an idiот.
3. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to аssаulт you
4. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish.
5. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the boss what you really think of him.
6. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burn on the forehead.
7. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, handsomer and smarter than some really, really big guy named Рsyсhо Bob.
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Q:Why don't giraffes like fast food?
A:Because they can't catch it!
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A passenger train is creeping along, slowly.
Finally it creaks to a halt.
A passenger sees a conductor walking by outside.
"What's going on?" she yells out the window.
"Соw on the track!" replies the conductor.
Ten minutes later, the train resumes its slow pace.
Within five minutes, however, it stops again.
The woman sees the same conductor walk again.
She leans out the window and yells, "What happened? Did we catch up with the соw again?"
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What do you buy a dead baby for its birthday?
A dead puppy!
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Fred and DooDah go to their favorite lake to fish.
After getting out on the water, DooDah hooks a huge fish, which pulls him overboard, and he drowns. Fred is brokenhearted and goes to tell DooDah's wife the news. She opens the door and hears Fred say, "Guess who drowned in the lake today? DooDah! DooDah!"
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Q: What's the difference between a rooster and a blonde?
A: A rooster says, "Соск-a-doodle-doo," and a blonde says, "Any c**k'll do."
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Q: What do you get when 100 rabbits stand in a row and 99 take a step back?
A: A receding hare line.
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Zebras are just horses that escaped from prison.
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What is the difference between a golfer and a fisherman?
"When a golfer lies he doesn't have to bring anything home to prove it!
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A rabbit went to the fortune-teller, “what do you see in my future?” asked the rabbit.
“Very soon,” replied the fortune-teller, “you will meet a pretty young girl who will want to know everything about you.”
“That’s great!” said the rabbit, hopping up and down.
“But when will I meet her?”
“Next week in science class,” said the fortune-teller.
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A mother and her son are sitting on an airplane, which is ready to take off.
The son admires the parked plains’ through the window.
At one point, he turns to his mother, which was reading a magazine, and pops the question:
"Since big dogs have little dogs, and big cats have little cats, how come, big airplanes have little plains?"
The child’s mother, bored to think of a reasonable answer, consultant him to ask the flight attendant.
Therefore, it happened:
"Since big dogs have little dogs, and big cats have little cats, how come, big airplanes have little plains?" little boy asks the flight attendant.
Then, with a smile on her face, stewardess replied:
"Did your mom told you to ask me?"
The boy shook his head positively.
So, she says back:
"Tell your mother, that our company knows better and.. pulls out in time!"
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Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
For the same reason dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
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What's a tiger running a copy machine called?
A copycat!
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Why do they say elephants never forget?
They haven't met Alberto Gonzalez.
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To flaggermus henger opp-ned på en gren. Den ene spør den andre: - ”Husker du den verste dagen du hadde i fjor?” Den andre svarer: - ”Ja Doi lilieci isi faceau siesta Kabo du šikšnosparniai galvom žemyn. Vienas klausia kito: - Kokia diena buvo baisiausia tavo gyvenime? - Kai man paleido vidurius.
Two bats are hanging upside down on a branch.
One asks the other, "Do you recall your worst day last year?"
The other responds, "Yes, the day I had diarrhea!"
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A hippo once told me he hated gangs, but then he joined one
What a HippoCrip.
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Question: Why did the Army send do many women with РМS to the Persian Gulf?
Answer: They fought like animals and retained water for 4 days.
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Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the сhin.
Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.
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