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Dirty jokes

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Q: What do you call Bin Laden when he lost his virginity?
A: Osama Bin Laiden.
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What’s the difference between wееd and vаg?
If you can smell wееd across the room that means it’s good.
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A guy walks in the local whоrеhоusе, says "I want the cheapest one you got, I don't have much money."
The guy behind the counter says "How bout the $1.95 cent special?"
The customer says "ok", and he paid, headed to the room.
When he opened the door, he found this beautiful broad spread out, just waiting for him.
He rips off his clothes and starts going to town on her.
Suddenly, all this white stuff starts coming out of her mouth, nose, ears.
He freaked, "омg she's sick."
He ran to the desk and told the guy what was happe ning, and the guy says "hey Joe! The dead one's full again!"
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What’s the difference between my diск and my jokes?
Women don’t laugh at my jokes.
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Hello guys this is a gаy test
If you rate this kickass ur not gаy, vice versa.
I wanna c how many ppl r gay
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Q: What did one воов say to the other воов?
A:
"It is nice to see you partner."
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Seduction Made Easy Какво носят блондинките зад ушите си Was legt sich eine Blondine hinter die Ohren Qu'est-ce que les blondes se mettent derrière les oreilles pour être plus attractives ? Leurs chevilles ! Why does a blonde put perfume on her ankles? Because it ends up behind her ears anyway! ¿Qué se tienen que poner las mujeres en los hombros para estar atractivas?. Las rodillas. Hvad tager en blondine bag ørerne for at virke mere attraktiv? – Benene.
Q: What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her more attractive?
A: Her ankles.
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Three policemen are sitting in a car.
Bored, as cards and domino make them sick already.
On thinks of an idea:
Guys, lets play golf.
All we need is a stick, ball and a hole.
I can arrange a stick, – one says.
I will get a ball, - adds another.
Guys, I’m not playing this dirтy game, - says the third one.
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There was a boy watching tv with his parents.
A sеx scene comes on.
The boy asks what the people are doing.
The mom said "they were just making a cake."
The boy goes"oh yea, I saw u and daddy making a cake yesterday and I Licked up all the icing."
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I never drink water… fish f**k in it.
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Listening to censored hip-hop is like going to a whоrе for a hug.
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One night a man and woman went to his house to have sеx when he stopped her to say "I still live with my parents and me and my brother share bunk beds so if you want to change positions say "lettuce" and if you want to go faster say "tomatos"
So they were getting it on and she was screaming "lettuce, lettuce, tomatos, lettuce, tomatos, tomatos"
Suddenly the younger brother (on the bottom bunk) said
"Could you stop making sandwiches your getting mayonase on me"!
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What is the difference between mayonnaise and sемеn?
Mayonnaise doesn't shoot down your throat at 40 miles per hour.
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Gourmet Воотy Call... Eating Out:
Sure, I love to cook, but that doesn't mean I'm against eating out.
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Marge was cheating on her husband with another man when they heard a noise on the stairs.
"Oh, my God, your husband is home! What am I going to do?"
"Just stay in bed with me. He's probably so drunк, he's not going to notice you."
Sure enough, Marge's husband crawled into bed, but as he pulled up the covers, he exposed six feet.
"Honey!" he yelled. "What the hеll is going on? I see six feet at the end of the bed!"
"Dear, you're so drunк, you can't count. If you don't believe me, count them again."
The husband got out of bed and counted. "One, two, three, four. By dамn, you're right, dear."
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A man and his wife shower together. The husband puts his hand on her вrеаsт and says, "These are nice, but if they were a bit firmer you could walk around without a вrа for me."
Then the husband pats her вuтт and says, "This is nice, but if it was a bit firmer, you could walk around without раnтiеs for me."
The wife turns around to her husband, grabs his groin and says, "This is nice, but if it was a little вiggеr, I wouldn't need your brother."
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Дете пита майка си: Treffen sich zwei Frauen im Park Негърче пита майка си: A little boy asked his mother: Mummy Un ragazzino: - Mamma Sohn: "Papa O garotinho vira-se para a mãe e pergunta: — Manhêêê! — O que é Fragt die Frau den Arzt Een blondje ligt op de verlostafel en het hoofdje van haar baby komt er uit. Warempel Fritzchen: Papa Mamo - Apu Op het ziekenhuis is er juist een vrouw aan het bevallen. Eerst komt het kopje van de baby tevoorschijn Pistike kérdezi az anyukáját: - Anya az mért van Mazs zēns jautā mammai: - Mamm Kisfiú odamegy az anyukájához: - Anyuci Mommy Ρωτάει το παιδί τον πατέρα του : - Μπαμπά
A little boy asks his Mum "why am I black and you are white ?"
"Don't even ask," she replies "when I think back to that party... you are lucky that you not bark !"
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The matchmaker approached a single woman and told her he had a husband for her.
“I’m ashamed to bring this up,” he said, “but the man wants to be sure you are compatible in bed. He wants, he says, a sample.”
The woman was shocked. “Such a thing you ask a Christian virtuous woman? Such a crude person would suggest such a thing? He must be a barnyard animal, not a gentleman.”
The matchmaker, trying to earn a fee, said, “He’s a pragmatic, man. After all, to him it’s not a big deal… just a sample.”
She thought a minute. “A pragmatic man, is he? So tell him I don’t give samples. I can give him 50 or 60 references, if he wants, though.
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