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What's the difference between a Northern and a Southern Fairy Tale?
The Norther Fairy Tale begins with "Once upon a time..." The Southern Fairy Tale begins with "Y'all ain't gonna believe this s**t..."
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Q: What do you get when you cross a bear with a deer?
A: Вееr.
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Q: How many mice does it take to sсrеw in a light bulb?
A: Two, if they're small enough.
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How do you know when an Asian broke into your house?
Your homework is done, your computer is upgraded, and two hours later the idiот is still in your driveway trying to back out.
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How do you get a black guy out of a tree?
Cut the rope
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На африканскиот главатар му се родило бело дете
На вожда на африканско племе му се ражда бяло дете. Вика той белия мисионер и му вика:
In einem Dorf im TIEFEN Afrika lebt als einziger weißer ein Missionar. Eines Tages kommt ein Eingeborener zu ihm und fragt:
White priest goes and lives with an African tribe. He spends his days teaching the way of the lord. After several years
Cela se passe en Afrique. Dans ce village
Um padre tinha ido evangelizar na África Negra
Dans le village centre-africain naît un bébé blanc. Le papa vexé se pose des questions et trouve une réponse alors il va voir le missionnaire
Nasce uma criança branca numa aldeia da África. O chefe da tribo manda chamar o missionário que era o único homem branco por ali: — Calma chefe
Der Häuptling in einem afrikanischen Dorf ist entsetzt. Seine Frau hat gerade ein weißes Kind zur Welt gebracht. Sofort ruft er den einzigen Weißen
A missionary gets sent into deepest darkest Africa and goes to live with a tribe there. He spends years with the people
Een arts van artsen zonder grenzen wordt naar donker Afrika gestuurd om iets aan geboortebeperking te doen. Daar aangekomen blijkt er één opperhoofd te zijn en de rest alleen maar vrouwen. "Kijk"
Numa aldeia africana
Out in the middle of darkest Africa there was a White Missionary living with a tribe of black natives. One day the big chief comes along and calls the Missionary into his hut
Ca se passe en Afrique noire
Vienas misionierius vienai Afrikos tautelei skelbė krikščioniškas idėjas. Skelbė jis metus
Den hvide missionær i Afrika blev kaldt til høvdingen
Gaat een zendeling zieltjes winnen bij een afgelegen stam in Congo . Eerste kennismaking gaat een beetje stroef maar na een paar maanden is hij behoorlijk geaccepteerd en is de stam al aardig...
En svenske var hjelpearbeider i et sted i Afrika. En dag kom stammehøvdingen til ham og sa at en kvinne i landsbyen hadde født ett hvitt barn og han spurte om svensken hadde en forklaring på det. -...
Missionären Josef hade i flera år bott i en afrikansk stam. En dag kom Bongo till honom med sin nyfödda baby. - Josef
Un misionero español viaja a una tribu del Congo
Un infuriato uomo di colore di una tribù africana va dal prete missionario che si trova lì con loro e gli dice: "Fratello tu dovere dare me spiegazione
Vienas antropologas kelerius metus gyveno laukinėje Afrikos gentyje
Ο λευκός ιεραπόστολος ζούσε ειρηνικά σε ένα Αφρικάνικο χωριό εδώ κι ένα χρόνο περίπου. Μια μέρα ο αρχηγός του χωριού τον κάλεσε στη σκηνή του για να συζητήσουν για ένα μεγάλο πρόβλημα. - Τι...
Dans un village africain peuplé de d’africain bien noir
Un scientifique blanc étudie une tribu en Afrique Un jour
Jeden misionář přijel do střední Afriky a usadil se u jednoho kmene. Strávil tam více než rok. Učil je číst a psát a seznamoval je s křesťanskou vírou. Obzvlášť zdůrazňoval sexuální čistotu a...
A professor travels to Africa to live with a primitive tribe and spends years with them, teaching them all about the wonders of science and mathematics.
He makes friends with the tribe's chief and his wife and they all live happily for some time.
One day the chief's wife gives birth to a white child.
The word spreads and the entire tribe is in shock.
The chief pulls the professor aside and says, "Look, you are the only white man we've ever seen around here, and my wife gave birth to a white child.
It doesn't take a genius to figure out what happened!"
The professor replied, "No, chief, you're mistaken.
What we have here is a natural occurrence what we in the civilized world call an albino!
Look at that field over there.
All the sheep are white except for one black one.
Nature does this on occasion."
The chief was silent for a moment, then said, "Tell you what.
You don't say anything more about that sheep and I won't say anything more about the white kid."
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What is the one single word that begins with 'n' that you never want to call a black person?
Neighbor.
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What's faster than a cheetah?
A Jew with a coupon!
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What do you call 100 million black guy skydiving during the daytime?
Nightfall.
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A bus stops and 2 Italian men get on.
They sit down and engage in an animated conversation.
The lady sitting next to them ignores them at first,
But her attention is galvanized when she hears one of them say the following:
Emma come first.
Den I come.
Den two аssеs come together.
I come once-a-more! .
Two аssеs, they come together again.
I come again and рее twice.
Then I come one lasta time.’
The lady can’t take this anymore, “You foul- mouthed sеx obsessed pig!”
She retorted indignantly.
‘In this country, we don’t speak aloud in public places about our sеx lives!”
‘Hey, coola down lady,’ said the man, ‘Whooza talkin’ about sеx?
I’m a justa tellin’ my frienda how to spell ‘ Mississippi ‘..
$5.00 says you’re gonna read this again!
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What word starts with "N" and end's with "R" that you don't want to call a black man??
"Neighbor"
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What's the flattest surface you can iron on ?
A white girls ass
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Q: What's faster than the speed of light?
A: A jew passing Germany.
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Q: What is the difference between a Jew and a boy scout?
A: the boy Scott gets to go home after camp.
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Varför är alla judiska män omskurna? För att judiska kvinnor inte tänker röra något som inte är minst 20% avdrag.
Omskæring Hvorfor bliver jødiske mænd omskåret? – Fordi jødiske kvinder ikke vil røre noget med mindre der er trukket 20% fra
Знаете ли защо евреите се обрязват? Защото еврейските жени няма да пипнат нищо
Q: Why do Jewish men get circumcised?
A: Because Jewish women won't touch anything unless it's 20% off.
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Hvorfor er sorte mennesker så hurtige? – Fordi alle de langsomme er i fængsel
Kodėl visi juodaodžiai greitai? Nes lėtosios yra kalėjime.
Q: Why are all black people fast?
A: Because the slow ones are in jail.
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Q: Why dont blacks celebrate Thanksgiving?
A: Because KFC isn't open on holidays.
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One day
A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl. Although his English was far from perfect
The following conversion took place in a Polish church. Polish Man: I want to divorce my wife. Priest: Why my son? Polish Man: I think she is trying to kill me. Priest: What makes you say this?...
A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl.
Although his English was far from perfect, and they got along very well.
One day he rushed into a lawyer’s office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him.
The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances, and asked him the following questions:
"Have you any grounds?"
"Yes, an acre and half and nice little home."
"No, I mean what is the foundation of this case?"
"It made of concrete."
"I don’t think you understand. Does either of you have a real grudge?"
"No, we have carport, and not need one."
"I mean. What are your relations like?"
"All my relations still in Poland."
"Is there any infidelity in your marriage?"
"We have hi-fidelity stereo and good DVD player."
"Does your wife beat you up?"
"No, I always up before her."
"Is your wife a nagger?"
"No, she white."
"Why do you want this divorce?"
"She going to кill me."
"What makes you think that?"
"I got proof."
"What kind of proof?"
"She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at drugstore and put on shelf in bathroom."
"I can read, and it say: 'Polish Remover.'"
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