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Fat people jokes

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Yo' Mama is so fат, you have to grease the door frame and hold a Тwinкiе on the other side just to get her through.
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Yo' Mama is so fат, when she went to the amusement park, they gave her a group discount.
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Yo' Mama is so fат, she needs six frames for her portrait.
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Yo' Mama is so fат, her bellybutton is a skate park.
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Yo' Mama is so old, when she went to school, they didn't have a history class yet.
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Yo' Mama is so fат, when she goes to a buffet, she pulls up a chair.
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Yo' Mama is so fат, when she went bungee jumping, she collapsed the bridge.
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Yo' Mama is so fат, she has to make a long distance call to talk to herself.
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Yo' Mama is so fат, instead lint in her belly button, she's gathered full sweaters.
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Yo' Mama is so fат, she can't lift her own spirit.
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Yo' Mama is so fат, when she goes to a stadium, she sits next to everybody.
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Yo' mama so fат, that when she wears a yellow rain jacket, people think she's a taxi cab.
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Yo' mama so fат, people exercise by doing laps 'round her!
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Yo mama's so fат she uses two greyhound buses as rollerblades.
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Yo' Mama is so fат, she shaves with a lawnmower.
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Yo' Mama is so fат, she wears a watch on each arm - one for each time zone she's in.
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The Lord Giveth...
When the Lord gave out brains, I thought he said trains and I missed mine! When he gave out looks, I thought he said books, and I didn't want any! When he gave out noses, I thought he said Four Roses, and I ordered a big one! When he gave out legs, I thought he said kegs, and I ordered two fат ones! When he gave out ears, I thought he said beers, and I ordered two long ones! When the Lord gave out chins, I thought he said gins, and I said 'Give me a double' Oh Lord! I'm a mess!
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Q: What do you call a blonde who eats too much?
A: Fат.
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