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Fat people jokes

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Q: How do you make five pounds of fат look good to a man?
A: Put a niррlе on it.
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Three blondes die and go to St. Peter. He says, "I have one question, and if you get it right, I will let you into Heaven."
He asks the first blonde, "What is Easter?"
She answers, "That's the time of the year when our whole family gets together and we eat turkey."
St. Peter says to the next blonde, "What is Easter?"
She answers, "That's the time of year when the fат jolly guy comes down the chimney and our family gets together to open presents."
St. Peter asks the third blonde, "What is Easter?"
She says, "That's when Сhrisт died and they put him in a tomb behind a rock."
"That's right!" exclaims St. Peter.
"Then, once a year," continues the third blonde, "we roll the stone away and he comes out, and if he sees his shadow, we have six more weeks of winter."
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You'll be so fат after Thanksgiving you'll get turned on reading a cook book.
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You'll be so fат after Thanksgiving next time you go to a restaurant, instead of a menu, you'll get an estimate.
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You'll be so fат after Thanksgiving you'll have to iron your pants on the driveway.
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You'll be so fат after Thanksgiving, the highway department will make you wear an "Oversize Load" sign every time you take a walk.
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You'll be so fат after Thanksgiving your next Facebook profile pic will have to be an aerial shot.
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You'll be so fат after Thanksgiving next time you wear leather pants to a party, people will sit on your воотy thinking it's a couch.
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You'll be so fат after Thanksgiving you'll need license plates for your shoes.
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Yo mamma is so fат dora couldn't even explore her.
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Yo momma's so fат, when she was floating in the ocean, Spain claimed her for the new world.
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Yo momma's so fат, the Hogwarts Sorting Hat put her in all 4 houses!
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Yo momma's so fат, she played the role of the boulder in the first Indiana Jones movie.
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Yo momma's so fат she puts a cup of water in the bathtub and it still overflows!
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Yo momma's so fат, that when she rubs her thighs together, I smell bacon.
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Yo momma's so fат, when we asked her what her hometown is, she said, "Buffet. "
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Yo momma's so fат, when she ordered a water bed, they put a blanket over the Atlantic Ocean.
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Yo momma's so fат, when she jumped for joy she got stuck!
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