Fat Jokes, Fat people jokes

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1.Yo mama so fат she sits on both sides of the family!
2.Yo mama so fат the National Weather Channel names every one of her farts!
3.Yo mama so fат that whenever she wears a yellow raincoat in public, everyone yells ''Taxi!''
4.Yo mama so fат that whenever she wears a red dress everyone yells "Kool-aid!"
5.Yo mama so old she knew Burger King while he was still a prince!
6.Last time I saw something as ugly as yo mama, I pinned a tail on it
7.Yo mama so sтuрid she can't even read with an audio book!
8.Yo mama so ugly her birth certificate contains an apology letter!
9.Yo mama so fат that when she fell in love, she broke it!
10.Yo mama so fат she can't even stop to a conclusion!
11.Yo mama so fат her nickname is "DАМN!"
12.Yo mama so fат she was born on the 4th, 5th, and 6th of June!
13.Yo mama so fат she doesn't eat with a fork... she eats with a forklift!
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Politically correct terms for cat owners:
- My cat does not ваrf hairballs, he is a floor/rug re-decorator.
- My cat does not break things, she helps gravity do its job.
- My cat does not fear dogs, they are merely sprint practice tools.
- My cat does not gobble, she eats with alacrity.
- My cat does not scratch, he is a furniture/rug/skin ventilator.
- My cat is not a "shedding machine," she is a hair relocation stylist.
- My cat is not a "treat-seeking missile," she enjoys the proximity of food.
- My cat is not a chatterbox, she is advising me on what to do next.
- My cat is not a dope addict, she is catnip appreciative.
- My cat is not a ruthless hunter, she is a wildlife control expert.
- My cat is not evil, she is badness enhanced.
- My cat is not fат, he is mass enhanced.
- My cat is not hydrophobic, she has an inability to appreciate moisture.
- My cat is not underfoot, she is shepherding me to my next destination
(which should always be the food dish).
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