Fat people jokes

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This guy from across the road was talking to me earlier.
“My wife’s just told me she’s been having an affair with Dave the milkman,” he confided.
“What? That fат ugly fсuкеr I see every morning outside your house?”
“Yes,” he laughed, cheering up.
“Why would Dave the milkman want to fсuк that?”

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A fат bird started chatting me up in the club last night and I mentioned I’d just had my birthday this week.
“Well, happy birthday, sеxy,” she purred, stroking down my chest. “If I come back to yours tonight, could you put a smile on my face?”
“Probably not,” I told her. “There’s no cake left.”

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I think people should stop picking on fат kids.............
They got enough on their plates !

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I was talking to a fат bird down the pub last night.
She said, “Would you call me a taxi?”
I said, “No, you’re more like a 12 seater mini bus.”

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Yo' Mama is so fат, she can't stand in single file.

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Why are gаy people such great dressers?
Cause they've spent alot of time in the closet.
*slaps random fат kid*

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My girlfriend said to me, "Look at me, I'm getting fат"
I told her "Don't be silly... You've always been fат."

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A blonde, a fат brunette, and a skinny redhead find a magic mirror. If you lie to the mirror you die. The redhead says,
"I look fат," and dies. The brunette says,
" I look skinny," and dies. The blonde says,
"I think..." and dies.

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Yo momma so fат her favorite food is seconds.

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A fат man goes into a fast food restaurant and orders his food. The cashier says that it will be a minute or two for his food. Finally his food is ready. The cashier hands the food to the fат guy and tells him, "Sorry about your weight."

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I work at a local fast food joint. It cracks me up when a fат аss customer orders a quadruple stacked cheeseburger, with extra sauce, a ton of extras, extra large fries with extra sauce, and then orders a small diet coke.

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You know you're getting fат when you say you're fат in front of your friends and nobody corrects you.

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Yo mama is so fат when Jabba's guard pushed her into the sarlacc pit, it choked to death.

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Yo momma is so fат Miley Cyrus uses her as a wreaking ball.

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Wife:
"Does this dress make me look fат?"
Husband:
"Stop blaming the dress, It's your fат that makes you look fат."

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Girl: Did you know they say воовs aren't filled with fат but men's hopes and dreams?
Me: Then men must have low hopes for you.
Girl: Go to hеll.

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Yo Momma so fат, she claims that the scale shows her phone number instead of her weight.

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When I was young, I used to eat a lot because my parents told me that fат kids are harder to kidnap.

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