Fat people jokes

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Never make fun of fат girls with lisps…
They’re thick and tired of it.

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This fат bird came up to me in the pub last night and said:
“Hey, stud, what’s the chances of me getting you in the sack tonight.”
“Absolutely none at all, you fат тwат” I laughed.
“You’re so wrong!” she said, as she took aim and kicked me in the воllоскs.

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Slow dancing with a fат person?
That’s like trying to move a refrigerator by yourself.

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Yo momma so fат when she wears a green sweater people yell GODZILLLLLLAAAAA

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Yo momma is so fат she put on a yellow raincoat and everyone started to shout taxi

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Had a nightmare last night about a fат old men breaking into my house. Think I might be Claustraphobic.

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200 lbs on Earth is only 74 lbs on Mars. I'm not fат, I'm just on the wrong planet.

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I've got a wedding I've got to go to next week, and I was trying to lose six pounds by the weekend. I don't think I'm going to do it, so I'm going to get my back waxed, and then, I'll only have to lose two.

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After one too many remarks about her weight, my wife went berserk.
She screamed, “If you keep up with these fат jokes, you’ll drive me to suicide!”
“Well I’d have to, you wouldn’t walk would you?” I replied.

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I’m sure good looking lеsвiаns look at fат lеsвiаns and give them no chance.
Until they see their fingers.

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I’m not saying my wife’s a fат, greedy вiтсh, but she’s just cleaned the cooker with two fuскing slices of bread.

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Yo mama so fат when she swims next to whales she sings frickin we are family!!!

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You know you’re fат when you look in the mirror and your own тiтs turn you on

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If you had to choose between being skinny and eating tacos everyday for the rest of your life…
…
Would you choose hard or soft taco shells?

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Onomnomnomatopoeia:
Describing the sound of a fат person eating.

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“Go on, love. You can do it. Push!” I said to my wife. “You’re nearly there.”
And as she struggled, I encouraged her, “Go on. Go on. I can see the head.”
“Fuск off, Dave,” she snapped in a muffled voice as she tried to put on the winter sweater she’d just finished knitting.

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Behind every fат woman there is a beautiful woman. No seriously, your in the way.

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Yo mama so fат when people saw her they yelled the earth is colliding

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