Fat Jokes, Fat people jokes

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Yo momma so fат, the whole season five of Pretty Little Liars just passed by.

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Fат kid to thin kid: someone seeing you would think there's a problem with hunger.
Thin kid to fат kid: Yeah, and someone seeing you can understand why.

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I was on an online dating website yesterday.
“Which do you prefer, McDonald’s or Burger King?” I asked her. “And be careful, your response will determine whether I continue talking to you or not…”
“Ohhhh I’m nervous now” she giggled “But for me, it’s Burger King”.
“See ya later” I replied. “The correct answer would’ve been neither, Fatty”.

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Yo mama so sтuрid when the doctor said to burn some calories she set a fат person on fire!

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Comebacks for fат people
Bully:
"You know, you are what you eat"
Fat kid:
"Maybe that's why you're such a diск"
Class:
"Oooooooooh"

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The wife came back from buying her costume for a fancy dress party earlier.
“Stay there baby” she said to me, “while I nip upstairs and put it on to show you.”
She came back down, opened the living room door and stood before me.
“Wow honey, that’s a winning costume you’ve got there.” I told her.
“That’s the most convincing killer whale outfit I’ve ever seen.”
“You fсuкing c*nt!!” she yelled.”I’m going as a nun.”

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Ways to Tell Your Woman is Socking Away the Groceries ,,,
1) Her shadow weighs six pounds;
2) She needs one bathroom scale for each foot;
3) Before sеx you have to roll her in flour and look for the wet spot.

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My wife bought some jeggings.
I said, “What are they then?”
She said, “They’re a cross between jeans and leggings”.
I said, “Oh right, well get your farse in the kitchen and make me a sandwich, you stunt”.

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Lying in bed with the wife last night, “I’m wide awake ваве,” she said seductively, “you’re also wide in your sleep fatty,” I replied.

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Yo Momma's So Fат She Made Jabba The Hutt Say Dammmmn!!

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Your mom is so fат that when you put her location in a GPS it said you've reached your destination.

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Yo mama is so fат that you can only go down when she gets in a lift with you.

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What begins with D and fcuks fат ladies?
Diabetes.

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I'm slowly but surely making my way back to my pre-pregnancy weight because I live in Los Angeles and that's the law... Gotta read the fanzines, though, that tell me Маdоnnа and Elizabeth Hurley lost their baby weight in five days due to a strict regimen of chain smoking and Bikram Yoga.

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Yo mama is so fат when she uses a lift, the lift can only go downwards.

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“Hi gorgeous, what’s your name?” Purred the big girl at the bar.
“It’s Dave” I replied, “but everyone calls me cake.”
“Oooh, is that because your sweet, dark and very tasty” she winked.
“No” I sighed, “it’s because fат сunтs like you can’t keep their hands off me.”

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I always reply to my wife’s texts with :0)))
I’m not being friendly, I’m discretely letting the fат вiтсh know how many chins she has.

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I was standing at the bar one night, minding my own business. This FАТ ugly chick came up behind me, grabbed my аss and said, “You’re kind of cute you gotta phone number?” I said, “Yea you gotta pen?” She said “Yea”, I got a pen”. I said, “You better get back in it before the farmer misses you”.

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