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Fat people jokes

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Fingеring a fат Girl is like trying to steal snacks from a vending machine.
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Fаg: your fат like an elephant
Guy: cool that means I can join your mom at the zoo
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Bully: Did you realise that you're obese?
Fat Kid: Yes, I realised about 1 year ago that I am a beast. What about yourself?
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Yo momma so fат, the whole season five of Pretty Little Liars just passed by.
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Fат kid to thin kid: someone seeing you would think there's a problem with hunger.
Thin kid to fат kid: Yeah, and someone seeing you can understand why.
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I was on an online dating website yesterday.
“Which do you prefer, McDonald’s or Burger King?” I asked her. “And be careful, your response will determine whether I continue talking to you or not…”
“Ohhhh I’m nervous now” she giggled “But for me, it’s Burger King”.
“See ya later” I replied. “The correct answer would’ve been neither, Fatty”.
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This fат girl came up to me in a club,”Can you sum me up in one phrase?”
“Bye and large”, I replied.
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Yo mama so sтuрid when the doctor said to burn some calories she set a fат person on fire!
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Comebacks for fат people
Bully:
"You know, you are what you eat"
Fat kid:
"Maybe that's why you're such a diск"
Class:
"Oooooooooh"
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The wife came back from buying her costume for a fancy dress party earlier.
“Stay there baby” she said to me, “while I nip upstairs and put it on to show you.”
She came back down, opened the living room door and stood before me.
“Wow honey, that’s a winning costume you’ve got there.” I told her.
“That’s the most convincing killer whale outfit I’ve ever seen.”
“You fсuкing c*nt!!” she yelled.”I’m going as a nun.”
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Ways to Tell Your Woman is Socking Away the Groceries ,,,
1) Her shadow weighs six pounds;
2) She needs one bathroom scale for each foot;
3) Before sеx you have to roll her in flour and look for the wet spot.
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My wife bought some jeggings.
I said, “What are they then?”
She said, “They’re a cross between jeans and leggings”.
I said, “Oh right, well get your farse in the kitchen and make me a sandwich, you stunt”.
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Yo Momma's So Fат She Made Jabba The Hutt Say Dammmmn!!
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Your mom is so fат that when you put her location in a GPS it said you've reached your destination.
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Yo mama is so fат that you can only go down when she gets in a lift with you.
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One day two brothers were raking in the front yard. The older brother, who is 6, says,
"Hey, at breakfast tomorrow, me and you should say a cuss word!" The younger brother, who is 4, nods with excitement. So, the next day, the their mother says,
"What do you want for breakfast?" to the older brother. He replies,
"All hеll! I'll have some Cherrios!" The mother grabs him by the ear and spanks him all the way up the stairs into his room. "Now, what do you want for breakfast?" The mother says to the younger brother. "I don't know, but you can bet your fат аss it ain't going to be Cherrios!"
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What begins with D and fcuks fат ladies?
Diabetes.
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I'm slowly but surely making my way back to my pre-pregnancy weight because I live in Los Angeles and that's the law... Gotta read the fanzines, though, that tell me Маdоnnа and Elizabeth Hurley lost their baby weight in five days due to a strict regimen of chain smoking and Bikram Yoga.
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