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Fat Jokes, Fat people jokes

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The other day my girlfriend put me in a tough situation; she said, “Do I look fат in this?”
Just before I told her how great she looked, my mouth started moving for me and I said:
“To be fair, it’s a small room.”
Now that her stuff’s gone, the room is actually quite large.
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There's a woman in front of me -- she's a little bit big. And I don't want to make fun of people's weight because we all have good years and our bad years. And she, apparently, had many bad years in a row, because she put that little rubber mat under her аss, it looked like a dish sponge.
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I’m hоrny as hеll. How do I go about shаgging this incredibly fат date of mine?
Roll her in flour and look for the wet spot.
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Yo mama so fат she went to KFC to get a bucket of chicken they asked her what size and she said the one on the roof
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I’m trying another diet. This one is called “Slim-Fast” where you eat tasty shakes. … …
….
I have had seven of them already today, so I’m feeling really good right now..
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Yo momma's so fат when she heard the doorbell ring she thought it was the microwave
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Yo Momma so fат, when she had a sеx with her husband she suffocated him.
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Yo momma so fат when she got into the elevator it went down instead of up...
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My fат wife and I were enjoying a swim in the hotel pool this morning, when a little boy of about five got into trouble and appeared to be drowning.
Luckily, my wife was there to save his life.
She got out to inform the lifeguard and the water level dropped enough for him to stand up.
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This girl had a tube top that said, 'Hottie.' I was thinking, 'This вiтсh has a good sense of humor.'
'Sweaty' might have been a better word. I don't know how big she was, but she had a tube top, those little hip huggers -- looked like a can of biscuits popped open.
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You so fат the scale screamed "Get the fuск off me".
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Yo momma is so fат every time she poops in the ocean its the size titanic
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Jеrк. your fат.
You. i can get rid of of my fат one thing u cant get is your nasty аss face bicth
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Fат guy saw an advertisement, “Lose 5kg in a week”, he calls and says he would like to join.
Lady, “Ok, be ready tomorrow at 6am”
Next morning he opens the door and finds a hot ваве with shoes, underpants and shirt saying, “If u catch me u can fuск me” and the girl starts running. The guy starts running but couldn’t catch her. So during the whole week he tries to catch her but couldn’t and loses 5kg.
He then asks for the 10kg program. Next morning at 6am he opens the door and saw even a hotter ваве in bikini saying “if u catch me u can fuск me.” He loses 10kg that week. So he thought, this program is awesome!! Let’s try 25kg. But the lady asked the man if he was really sure as it was a tough one, the man said he was up for the challenge. Next day at 6am he opens the door expecting to see a nudе ваве. He finds a nudе man saying, “If I catch u, I’ll fuск u”, that week he lost 30kg.
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I was on my way to the shops today when my wife asked me to get her something that was good for burning fат.
So I bought her a frying pan.
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Yo mama so fат that when she went out of space, out of space said,"I'm out of space!"
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Yo momma so fат that she went to hеll because of gravity
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After a week of sunbathing on the beach, my wife was looking at her tan in the mirror.
“That’s weird,” she said, “my armpits are still white.”
“I’m not surprised,” I replied. “When you go торlеss, that’s where your t*ts end up.”
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