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Food Jokes

Add a joke Newest jokes Most popular
What did the potato chip say to the battery?
If you're Eveready, I'm Frito Lay.
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Chuck Norris once won the title of Iron Chef by cooking instant ramen noodles.
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Chuck Norris once squeezed an M&M so hard that it turned into a Skittle.
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Chuck Norris doesn't use a coffee maker, he puts the coffee beans in his mouth and boils them with his rage.
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What does a cooked chicken and a stoner who is afraid of everything have in common?
They are both baked chickens.
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What did the bunny say when he only had thistles to eat?
Thistle have to do.
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How do you make a milkshake?
Give a соw a pogo stick.
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When Chuck Norris wants salad, he eats a vegetarian.
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What do you call a bull that runs into a threshing machine?
Hamburger.
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What did the farmer call the соw that would not give him any milk?
An udder failure.
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They've broken in my house so many times, they leave notes complaining about things:
'The salt was low.' 'Pick up bread. We be back.' Grease all over my stove - they cooked and left the best chicken and dressing you ever want to lay your lips on.
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Yo' Mama is so fат, she brought on world hunger.
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Three rabbits escape from a testing lab and find an entire field full of carrots.
They eat themselves into a stupor and sleep throughout the night. The next morning, they find an entire field full of female rabbits with no males in sight. They sсrеw themselves into a stupor and sleep throughout the night. The next morning, the rabbits get to talking.
"I'm gonna go back to that field of carrots," says one.
"I'm gonna go back to those cute little rabbits," says the second.
"I'm going back to the lab," says the third. "I'm dying for a cigarette."
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A diner complained, "Waiter, there's a fly in my soup!"
His waiter replied, "That's entirely possible; our cook used to be a tailor."
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Two russian guys are walking down the street and they find a $100.
So one says, "Ok, lets buy bread for $1 and the rest we spend on vоdка?."
The other says, "I don't get it, why do we need so much bread?."
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A blonde is overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet.
“I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat the procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you’ll have lost at least five pounds.”
When the blonde returns, she’s lost nearly 20 pounds.
“Wow, that’s amazing!” the doctor says.
“Did you follow my instructions?”
The blonde nods…
“I’ll tell you, though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day."
“From hunger, you mean?” said the doctor.
“No, from skipping,” replied the blonde.
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There was a black guy, white guy, and a Mexican on a ship.
The ship was sinking so the black guy said, 'quick throw off anything we don't need.' The Mexican threw off tacos, the black guy thre off fried chicken and the white guy threw off the black guy and the Mexican.
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Q: What do you call a fried potato in your pants?
A: Diск-tator.
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