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Food Jokes

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Chuck Norris's version of a "chocolate milkshake" is a raw porterhouse wrapped around ten Hershey bars, and doused in diesel fuel.
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The Bachelor's Life La chica de la lasaña y el cajero gracioso Single? Момиче пазарува в магазина и на касата: Жена пазарувала в супера. Докато оставяла нещата на лентата един пияница се приближил Una chica entra en un supermercado y compra lo siguiente: A woman was paying for some items in a supermarket - a pint of milk Uma mulher passava as compras no caixa de supermercado percebeu que um bêbado examinava detalhadamente seus itens de compra: * 2 caixas de leite integral * 1 dúzia de ovos * 1 litro de suco de laranja * 1 alface americana * 1 kg de café; e * 1 pacote de bacon fatiado. Enquanto o caixa registrava A woman went shopping. She walks to checkout counter and then the salesman packs all her groceries: milk Een vrouw ging naar de winkel waar ze de volgende spullen kocht : * 1 liter melk * 1 doos eieren * 1 liter fruitsap * 1 pak koffie * 1 ons ham * 1 doos Cup-a-Soup Terwijl ze haar... A woman is at a grocery store. She goes to the clerk to purchase her groceries. The clerk looks at her items and sees a carton of eggs En pige lægger sine varer op ved kassen: 1 tomat En pige vader ind i et supermarked A girl walks into a supermarket and buys the following: 1 bar of soap 1 toothbrush 1 tube of toothpaste 1 loaf of bread 1 pint of milk 1 apple 1 banana 1 orange 1 plum 1 peach 1 grapefruit 1 tomato... En kvinna kommer in i affären och köper lite saker
A woman walks into a supermarket and buys:
1 bar of soap
1 toothbrush
1 tube of toothpaste
1 loaf of bread
1 pint of milk
1 single serving of cereal
1 single serving frozen dinner
1 can of Soup For One
1 16oz can of Miller Lite
The guy at the checkout looks at her and says, "Single, are you?"
The woman smiles sweetly and replies, "How did you guess?"
He replies, “Because you’re ugly.”
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One elf said to another elf, "We had Grandma for Christmas dinner".
And the other elf said, "Really? We had turkey!"
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Champions eat Wheaties for breakfast.
Chuck Norris eats Champions for breakfast.
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The cannibal priest told his flock to close their eyes and say grace.
"For whosoever we are about to eat, may the Lord make us truly thankful."
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Why was the cannibal looking peeky?
Because he had just eaten a Chinese dog!
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Chuck Norris boils an egg by holding it.
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Chuck Norris can toast bread in a freezer.
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Chuck Norris puts all of his baskets in one egg.
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Wheaties is the breakfast of champions, not for Chuck Norris.
He eats Chucky Charms, which contains diamonds, sulfuric acid, and radioactive uranium.
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Chuck Norris dropped the apple on Isaac Newtons Head.
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Teacher:
"Name five things that contain milk."
Pupil:
"Butter, cheese, ice cream … and two cows."
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What is a соw's favorite lunch meat?
Bullogna.
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Chuck Norris can put 13 eggs in a dozen carton.
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Chuck Norris has no freezer. He stares at food and they freeze with fear.
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When Chuck Norris bakes cookies for his enemies, he adds his own secret ingredient to make a special taste to it. Its called "defeat".
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"Waiter, what is this hare doing in my salad?"
"I believe he's eating your lettuce."
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A husband and wife are eating soup.
The wife spills soup all over her and says:
"Oh no, I look like a pig"
"Yes and you also have soup all over you!"
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