Food Jokes

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Chuck Norris can turn toast back into bread.

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Yo' Mama is so sтuрid, she tried to put the leftover orange juice back in the rind.

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Q: What do you call an empty jar of Cheez Whiz?
A: Cheez Whuz.

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Q: Why did the can crusher quit his job?
A: Because it was soda pressing.

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Q: What happens when you feed gun powder to a chicken?
A: Egg-splosion

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Why did the tomato turn red?
Because he saw the salad dressing.

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What does a cannibal eat with cheese?
Pickled organs.

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What's the worst thing you're likely to find in the school cafeteria?
The Food!

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What do sick cannibals have for breakfast?
Vitamin bills!

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Chuck Norris was once so famished, he ate Turkey.
The country there now is only an impostor.

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If it were true that you are what you eat.
Then you are about to be a roundhouse kick.

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A blonde, a brunet and a red head were running from the cops when they came upon three empty sacks laying in front of a closed store.
"Let's hide in these and the cops won't find us!" said the red head, and they each dove into the sacks.
The brunet hid in one that said CAT.
The red head hid in one that said DOG, and the blonde hid in one that said POTATOS.
When the cops came by, they saw the bags and said:
"Maybe they're in these sacks. Kick one of them." to the other.
The other cop kicked the bag the brunet was in that said CAT and she said:
"Meow!".
So the cop kicked the second bag with the red head that said DOG. She said once kicked:
"Woof!".
So the cop moved on to the final sack that said POTATOS and kicked it.
The blonde cried out:
"Potatos!"

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Why did the gray whale go on a diet?
Because he wasn't a Fin whale.

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A man is trapped on a desert island with a sheep and a dog.
After a few months, the sheep starts looking really attractive to the man.
However, whenever he approaches the sheep the dog begins to growl in a threatening manner.
The man takes the dog to the opposite side of the island giving it some food as a distraction.
He runs back to the sheep only to find the dog growling at him.
The man ties the dog to a tree with a large leash.
He goes back to the sheep only to find the dog growling with a gnawed off leash around its neck.
By now, the man is getting depressed and frustrated.
As he sits under a palm tree staring out to sea, a beautiful woman in a tight-fitting wet suit emerges from the surf.
She asks him who he is and, taking pity upon his lonely state, asks if there's ANYTHING she could do for him.
The man thinks for a moment and then responds:
"Could you take the dog for a walk?"

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Chuck Norris can eat food while his mouth is closed.

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What's the only thing white girls swallow?
Starbucks.

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The cake is a lie, Chuck Norris is THE TRUTH.

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Chuck Norris invented hot sauce.
To put on his peppers.

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