Food Jokes

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Chuck Norris and Нiтlеr were sitting in a cafe.
Chuck said, "I don't like the juice."
Hitler heard him wrong.

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Two cows were talking.One соw asked the other"
I wonder what hamburgers are made of?"
The other соw replied "YOUR MOM!

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a table?
You can't fuск a table.

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What is the difference between a pizza and a women?
The pizza can be eaten but the women can't!

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Chuck Norris doesn't take the cake, the cake sees Chuck Norris and begs to be devoured.

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What do you call an open can of tuna in a lеsвiаns apartment?
Potpourri.

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The secret ingredient in the KFC recipe is Chuck Norris' approval.

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How do you know when there's a rabbit in your bed?
You can smell the carrots on his breath.

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There was a guy and he went to the doctor and he showed the doctor his diск.
He asked why it was orange and the doctor replyed:
Have you been doing anything unusual?
And he said: No.
So the doctor ran so tests then he sent the guy home told him to come back in 2 weeks.
So he did and it was even oranger so once again the doctor asked:
Have you been doing anything at all unusual?
And the guy said:
Well about 2 weeks ago I was watching роrnо and eating a bag of crunchy cheetos.

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Chuck Norris can have his cake and eat yours too.

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Chuck Norris does not need pressure cookers.
The food cooks itself out of pressure.

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Yo Mama's like a fast food retaurant, she takes orders from the front and the back.

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My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face.

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Man:
"How do you like your eggs in the morning?"
Woman:
"Unfertilized."

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Girl: why am I still single?
Brain: you're weird as shiт.
Body: and you're fат.
Face: plus you're pretty ugly.
Food: Don't worry ваве, I'm here for you.

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Santa leaves out cookies for Chuck Norris.

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"Hey Jaeger, are you enjoying that apple?"
"Sure, why do you ask."
"I was going to offer you some toast."
"How kind of... I'll accept."
"Great, but what's toast without any butter Jaeger."
"You're right about that!"
"Well give me a few seconds, let me go scrape some off of your mother's teeth!"

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What did the cannibal say when he came home and found his wife chopping up a python and a pygmy?
Oh no, not snake and pygmy pie again!

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