Two old men decide they are close to their last days
And decide to have a last night on the town.
After a few drinks, they end up at the local brothel
The madam takes one look at the two old geezers
And whispers to her manager, ‘go up to the first
Two bedrooms and put an inflated doll in each bed.
These two are so old and drunк, i’m not wasting
Two of my girls on them. They won’t know
The difference.’
The manager does as he is told and the two old
Men go upstairs and take care of their business.
As they are walking home the first man says, ‘you
Know, i think my girl was dead!’
‘Dead?’ says his friend, ‘why
Do you say that?’
‘Well, she never moved or made a sound all the
Time i was loving her.’
His friend says, ‘could be worse i think mine was
A witch.’
‘A witch ??. . Why the hеll would you say that?’
‘Well, i was making love to her, kissing her on
The neck, and i gave her a little bite, then she
Farted and flew out the window… took my
Teeth with her!’
A flying saucer descends upon earth and a number of friendly Martians disembark. …
…. ….
After the Martians are able to understand English, a number of couples gather at a party. …
…
A Martian couple and an Earthling couple meet and talk about all sorts of things. …
…
Eventually, the subject of sеx comes up. …
…
“Just how do you guys do it?” asked one of the Earthlings. …
…
“Pretty much the way you do,” responded the Martian.
Discussion ensues and finally the couples decide to swap partners for the night and experience one another. The female Earthling and the male Martian go off to a bedroom where the Martian strips. He’s got only a teeny, weeny member; very short and very narrow.
“What can you do with THAT!?” exclaims the woman.
“Why?” he asked, “What’s the matter?”
“Well,” she replied, “it’s nowhere near long enough. It’ll never reach!”
“No problem,” he said and proceeded to slap his forehead with his palm. With each slap of his forehead, his member grew until it was quite impressively long.
“Well,” she said. “That’s quite impressive, but it’s still pretty narrow.”
“No problem,” he said again and started pulling his ears. With each pull his member grew wider and wider until the entire measurement was extremely exciting to the woman.
“Wow!” she exclaimed as they fell into bed and made mad, passionate love.
The next day the couples rejoined their normal partners and went off together.
As they walked along the Earthling male said, “Well, was it any good?”
“I hate to say it,” she said, “but it was really wonderful. How about you?”
“Well,” he said, “It was the weirdest thing. She kept slapping me on the forehead and pulling my ears all night.”