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Το πιο άσχημο μωρό
The baby
Το άσχημο μωρό
Една жена се качила в автобус с бебето си. Шофьорът казал:
В автобусе едет женщина с ребёнком.Заходит пьяный мужик:
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says, "That
Uma mulher entra no ônibus com seu filho e o motorista se espanta:,- Nossa, é o bebê mais feio que já vi!,A mulher ouve calada e senta na parte de trás do ônibus. Bufando, desabafa para outro passageiro:,- O motorista me insultou!,E o passageiro recomenda:,- Vá lá...
I was walking home last night when I noticed an old drunk staggering along the road. He passed a woman who was walking a young child. "Lady", said the drunk, "that
Wchodzi kobieta z czarnym dzieckiem na rękach do autobusu. - Fuj, jakie brzydkie dziecko - mówi kierowca autobusu. Kobieta oburzona, ba, wpieniona na maksa siada obok innego pasażera i mówi: - Słyszał pan? Jak tak można. Jaki niekulturalny, jaka...
Kommt eine Frau mit ihrem Kind auf dem Arm in den Bus. Sagt der Busfahrer: "Mensch sie haben aber ein häßliches Kind!" Schockiert und immer noch verärgert setzt sich die Frau in den Bus. Ihr...
På en buss i London satt en ung kvinna med sin baby i famnen när en berusad man klev på och stannade framför henne. Mannen tittade en lång stund på barnet och sa sedan så högt att alla i bussen...
Met haar baby van zes dagen op de arm stapt Annie de bus in. "Dat is de lelijkste baby die ik ooit heb gezien!" zei de chauffeur, waarop Annie woedend achter in de bus plaatsneemt. De man naast...
Annie stapt de bus in met haar pasgeboren baby op haar arm. Zegt de buschauffeur:
En dame går på en buss med babyen sin. Bussjåføren sier: - Det er den styggeste babyen jeg noen gang har sett. Æsj!. Dama finner seg et sete og setter seg ned, mens hun furter. Hun snur seg til...
O femeie cu un copil in brate se urca in autobuz. Soferul Zice: - Aoleu, asta e cel mai urit copil pe care l-am vazut Vreodata. Femeia Se duce in spatele autobuzului si se asaza pe scaun, Spumegind...
Een vrouw staat samen met haar baby op de arm te wachten bij een bushalte. Als de bus aan komt en de vrouw instapt zegt de buschauffeur: "Dat is de lelijkste baby die ik ooit heb gezien!" De vrouw...
En dame går på bussen med babyen sin, da bussjåføren utbryter: - «Det er den styggeste babyen jeg noen gang har sett. Æsj!» Damen går bak i bussen, setter seg ned og er rasende. «Sjåføren fornærmet...
A woman got on a bus holding a baby. The bus driver looked at the child and blurted out, "That
Kadın bebeğiyle otobüse binerken otobüs şöförü kendini tutamayıp şöyle demiş: - Aman tanrım ne kadar çirkin bir bebek... Kadın sinirle biletini kutuya basmış, en arka tarafa geçmiş, bir adamın...
A lady boards the bus with her baby. The bus driver looks at the baby and says "that
Uma Senhora estava sentada com o seu filhinho no colo, na poltrona do ônibus, quando chegou um cavalheiro e sentou ao lado dela, quando ele olhou para a criança, ficou espantado e falou: "Virgem...
En kvinde kommer ind i en bus med en baby på armen... Chaufføren kigger længe på ungen og udbryder: "Hold da kæft en grim unge" Kvinden sætter sig bagest i bussen, mens hun er ved at koge over af...
Moteris su mažu vaiku įlipa į mikroautobusą. Vairuotojas imdamas pinigus, dėbteli į vaiką: - Nieko sau! Tokios baidyklės dar nematęs! Keleivė skubiai pereina į mikroautobuso galą ir susinervinus...
A woman walks onto the Bus with his child.
The driver says,
"That’s the ugliest child I have seen!"
The woman sits down and tells her neighbor.
The neighbor replies, “Go say something back. Here, I’ll hold your monkey for you!”
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Mother knocks on her son’s door, “It’s late. Are you still behind your computer screen playing video games?“
The son replies, “Of course not. I’m in front of it.”
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Do trains eat? - Well they do go chew-chew…
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Father: And, how do you like going to school?
Son: Well, the going bit is OK, the coming home bit is fine too, but the time in between kind of ruins it!
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80 chimneys plus 5 chimneys plus 8 chimneys.
What is the result?
Lots of smoke.
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What do teachers and clouds have in common?
Everything brightens up when they go away.
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Peter, where did you put the siеvе?
Sorry, mommy, I threw it away. There were too many holes in it.
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Little Johnny: Mom, I have good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?
Johnny’s Mom: OK, let’s hear the good news first.
Little Johnny: I got a B in Math today.
Johnny’s Mom: That’s good! And now the bad one.
Little Johnny: That was a lie.
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I have hands but I can never clap. What am I?
The clock.
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Cute little bunny walks into a pharmacy and asks if they have carrot ice cream.
“No. This is a pharmacy. We don’t sell ice cream.”
Bunny leaves. But it comes back the next day and again asks, “Do you have carrot ice cream?”
“No, Bunny! This is a pharmacy. We don’t sell ice cream!“
Bunny leaves – but comes again the next day. And the next day, and so on, until after about two weeks, the pharmacist caves in and personally gets carrot ice cream for the next time the bunny comes.
The bunny does come, and again asks, “Do you have carrot ice cream?”
“Today, Bunny, today we do!” smiles the pharmacist.
The bunny says:
“Well then don't eat it. It tastes horrible!“
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Why does Little Johnny always tiptoe past the medicine box?
He’s afraid what would happen if he woke up the sleeping pills.
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Teacher:
"You got a zero in the last exam."
Roger:
"I don’t think I deserve a zero!"
Teacher:
"Neither do I. But I can’t go any lower than that."
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Can you name a city where no one ever goes? - Electricity.
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What keeps going up and down but doesn't move? - The temperature!
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Why did the bird have to go to the hospital?
He was scheduled for a tweetment.
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Teacher:
“I hope I won’t catch you copying from Clarissa!”
Paula:
“Oh, I hope so too!“
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Why did the teacher have to visit the eye specialist?
She just couldn't control her pupils!
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Raphael runs to his father and starts talking to him urgently, “Dad, dad…”
His father turns to him angrily and says, “I’ve had it with you constantly interrupting me. From now on you’ll speak only when I’ve asked you something!”
Raphael thinks for a second and continues, “OK dad, can you please ask me if you’ve forgotten to put in the handbrake and if your car is now rolling down the road?”
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