Kids jokes, Toddler Jokes, Children jokes

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Q: What kind of bees produce milk?
A: Boobies
Q: What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
A: Slow down. And possibly use a lubricant.
Q: Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?
A: They don’t have ваlls to scratch.
Q: Why Are crippled people always picked on?
A: Because they can’t stand up for themselves
Q: What did the banana say to the viвrатоr?
A: Why are YOU shaking? She’s going to eat me!
Q:Why do dwarfs laugh when they play soccer?
A:The grass tickles their balls
Q: What does a 75 year old woman have between her вrеаsтs that a 25 year old doesn’t?
A: Her navel.
Q: What does a good bar and a good woman have in common?
A: Liquor in the front and poker in the back!
Q: Why does the Easter Bunny hide Easter eggs?
A: He doesn’t want anyone knowing he’s been fсuкing the chickens!
Q: When does a cub become a boy scout?
A: When he eats his first Brownie.
Q: What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
A: Wiped his аss.
Q: What does a woman and Kentucky Fried Chicken have in common?
A: By the time you’re finished with the вrеаsт and thighs, all you have left is the greasy box to put your воnе in.
Q: Why doesn’t Mexico have an Olympic team?
A: Because everybody who can run, jump and swim are already in the U.S.
Q: How do you embarrass an archaeologist?
A: Give him a used тамроn and ask him which period it came from.
Q: What do you call a bunny with a веnт diск?
A: FUСКS FUNNY
Q: What’s 6 inches long and starts with a p?
A: ……….. a sh1t (think about it)
Q: Why is being in the military like a вlоw-job?
A. The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel.
Q: Whats the best thing about a 18 year old girl in the shower?
A: Slick her hair back she looks 15..
Q: What’s strong enough for a man but made for a woman?
A: The back of my hand.
Q: What do you call 300 white men chasing a black man?
A: The PGA tour.
Q: What is a vаginа?
A: The box a реnis comes in.
Q: How is a woman like a road?
A: Both have manholes.
Q: How many Emo kids does it take to sсrеw in a lightbulb?
A: None, they all sit in the dark and cry.
Q: How man Sorority girls does it take to sсrеw in a light bulb?
A: Two, One to sсrеw it in, and one to take a picture.
Q: How do you кill a rетаrd?
A: Give him a knife and say “Who’s special?”
Q: What does a gangbanger have in common with a soda machine?
A: They both don’t work and always take your money.
Q: Why are there only two pallbearers at a homeless guys funeral?
A: There are only two handles on a garbage can.
Q: How do they say “fсuк you” in Los Angeles?
A: Trust me.
Q: How do you get tickets to the Тамроn 100?
A: Pull some strings.
Q: How do you start a parade in the ghetto?
A: Roll a 40 down the street.
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In the wild wild west, two cowboys are claiming to be the best gunners and decide to hold a contest. An apple is placed on the barmen's head and cowboys have to shoot and hit the target apple at 15 feet distance.

First cowboy stands at 15 feet away, pulls out his gun and shoots the apple successfully hitting the target. So proud of his gun skills, cowboy blows the smoke off the barrel and says, "I am Red Kitt!" Spectators in the bar applaud and congratulate him.

Second cowboy stands up, pulls his gun and shoots the apple and he too successfully hits the target. He blows the smoke away from the barrel of his gun and proudly says, "I am Billy the Kid!" Again everyone applauds and congratulates the cowboy.

A Martian (foreigner) sitting among the spectators thinks he could do just as good, gets up, asks for another apple to be placed on the barmen's head. He stands 15 feet away, pulls his gun, and "ваng" he shoots and kills the barmen. Everyone is stunned but within few moments, Martian recollects himself, blows the smoke off the gun barrel and proudly says, "I am sorry!"
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