Marriage Jokes, Family Jokes
It's dinner time. Mom tell her 4 year old son to give a call to his dad to get home early for dinner together.
Mom:
"Son, please give your father a call and tell him to come back early, we'll having dinner together"
Son:
"Yes ,mom."
A moment later... Dialing...
Son:
" Mom... Someone had pick up the call... But..."
Mom:
"But what?"
Son:
"It sounds like a..."
Mom:
"Any problem with that?"
Son:
"No mom..."
Mom:
"So?"
Son:
"Hmm..."
Mom:
"Make sure tell your dad to come back early..."
Son:
"Yeah... But... That's not dad, is... A women's voice..."
Mom:
"What!!!"
His mom getting angry with this... Soon,daddy went home.
Dad:
"Hey darling,I'm back..."
Mom(angry):
"Make sure to clean yourself first! Don't try to lie in this family!!!"
Dad:
"Hey??? What I've done....?"
They argue for a long time... Dad goes straight to his room and mom sits on the sofa.
After a while...
Son:
"Mom, please don't angry..."
Mom:
"Your father betrayed us, he had another women... (mom crying)
Son:
"Don't cry mom, father won't leave us and the women told me to try later..."
Mom:
"Gosh!!! what else she told you?"
Son: She told me that, "The number you've dial is out of coverage, please try later."
A man, getting along in years, finds that he is unable to perform sexually. He finally goes to his doctor who tries a few things, but nothing seems to work. Finally, as a last hope, the doctor refers him to an African medicine man.
The medicine man says, “I can cure this.”
With that said, he throws a white powder into a flame, and there is a flash with billowing blue smoke.
Then he says, “This is powerful healing but you can only use it once a year. All you have to do is say ‘123,’ and it shall rise for as long as you wish!”
The man then asks, “What happens when it’s over, and I don’t want to continue?”
The medicine man replies, “When your partner can take no more sеx and is completely raddled, all she has to say is ‘1234’, and it will then go down. But be warned, the pork sword will not rise again for another year.”
The old gent rushes home, anxious to try out his new powers. That night he showers, shaves and smothers himself in aftershave. He slides into bed, cuddles up to his wife, says “123” and suddenly he has the most gigantic воnеr,ever, just as the medicine man promised.
His wife turns over and asks, “What did you say ‘123’ for?”
Marvin, was in the hospital on his death bed. The family called Marvin’s Preacher to be with him in his final moments. As the Preacher stood by the bed, Marvin’s condition seemed to deteriorate quickly, and Marvin motioned for someone to quickly pass him a pen and paper.
The Preacher quickly got a pen and paper and lovingly handed it to Marvin. But before he had a chance to read the note, Marvin died. The Preacher felt that now wasn’t the right time to read the note and put it in his jacket pocket.
While speaking at the funeral, the Preacher suddenly remembered the note. Checking his pocket, the Preacher said, “and you know what, I remembered that right before Marvin died, he handed me a note, and knowing Marvin, I’m sure it was something inspiring that we can all gain from.”
With that introduction, the Preacher pulled the note from his pocket and opened it…
The note said, “HEY, YOU ARE STANDING ON MY OXYGEN TUBE!”