Marriage Jokes, Family Jokes

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Der Teufel und der Anwalt При един адвокат се появил дявола и му предлага сделка: Der Teufel macht einem Immobilienmakler ein Angebot: Дяволът отива при един адвокат и предлага сделка: Ein Spekulant sitzt vor seinem Computer und studiert gerade die neuesten Charts und Börsenkurse An attorney was sitting in his office late one night Le diable dit à un agent immobilier : - Je vais faire de toi le plus grand agent immobilier du monde. Tu gagneras tous les ans plus d'argent que Bill Gates et le Sultan de Brunei réunis ! En échange Ein Anwalt hat mit seiner Kanzlei Anlaufschwierigkeiten Advokaten hade fått en diagnos av sin läkare. Den var minst sagt negativ U pewnego pisarza pojawił się diabeł: - Jesteś beztalenciem. Nigdy nie napiszesz niczego C’est le diable qui dit à un avocat : - Je vais prendre les âmes de ta femme et de tes trois enfants. Elles passeront l’éternité avec moi en Enfer. En échange Un avvocato è seduto nel suo ufficio una notte quando gli compare il Diavolo che gli dice: "Ho una proposta per te. Tu potrai vincere tutte le tue future cause per il resto della tua vita. I tuoi... After five years of toil at a Wall Street law firm Wolfgang Schüssel sitzt im Büro. Jemand klopft an die Tür. Es ist der Teufel persönlich. "Erschrecken Sie nicht"
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Blonde Rides Shotgun The Blonde and the Blinker Δυο ξανθιές στο αμάξι Скъпа Какво отговоря блондинка като я попиташ дали мигачът мига? Две блондинки се возят в кола. Един борец казал на друг: Што одговара плавуша кога ја прашуваат дали работи жмигавецот на колата: Zwei Österreicher überprüfen ihr Auto: A guy was driving in a car with a blonde. He told her to stick her head out the window and see if the blinker worked. - Vet du vad norrmännen säger om blinkersen i bilen? - Fungerer C'est deux belges qui sont dans une voiture et le préparent pour partir en vacances. Le conducteur dis au passager - Va voir si le clignotant marche bien s'il te plaît. - Ouais Carabinieri in auto: "Appuntato guarda se la freccia funziona". "Ora si' Det var en norrman A man got in a taxi cab to be driven to work. They were about to turn a corner Kevin Un tipo le dice a la mujer rubia: - Andrea What does a blonde say when you ask her if her blinker is working? Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Det var en Svensk turist som var ute och åkte bil i Norge. Han svängde in på en verkstad för att kolla så att alla lampor på bilen fungerade. - Kan jag få hjälp med en sak? Frågade svensken. -... Det var två norr män som skulle åka bil. Då sa den som skulle köra till den andra: - Kan du gå ur och kolla så blinkersen funkar? - Okej P: O que uma loira te responde quando você pergunta se o pisca-pisca está funcionando? — Está; não está; Está. Não está... Ein Mann bittet eine Blondine sich hinter sein Auto zu stellen A guy asked a blonde if his blinkers were working and she replied On Two blondes are driving down the road A guy driving his car asks his blonde girlfriend to stick her head out of the window and check to see if the blinkers are working This guy picked up a dumb hitchhiker Quando uma pessoa pergunta para uma loira se o pisca-pisca do carro está funcionado o que ela diz? R.. tá
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Жена ми помоли да и дам гланца за устни. По погрешка и дадох лепило. Meine Frau hat mich gebeten Жінка попросила передати їй тюбик із помадою I accidentally passed my wife a glue stick instead of a chap stick... She's still not talking to me ... Zwei Freunden treffen sich in der Kneipe. Sagt der eine: "Du Forleden ba min kone meg om å gi henne leppestiften hennes Żona prosiła mnie Onlangs vroeg mijn vrouw me om haar lippenstift door te geven
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One day a family is wondering what to cook for dinner.
They have many ideas but each idea doesn't sound good.
Eventually, they go to the living room to watch tv when all of a sudden a knock at the door.
The mother answers it and it's a nun saying she's going door to door giving out soup to families.
She takes the bag of soup and thanks to the nun.
They all go to the kitchen and grab a bowl and then pour the soup into bowls.
The father says "this soup stinks!"
The mother says "honey a nun brought it to us be grateful."
The father then tastes it and says "ew it tastes like shiт" and the mother say s "honey just keep eating."
After they finish they go to the living room and the news is on.
The reporter says "the man dressed as a nun delivering raw sewage door to door has been caught" they all puked.
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