Marriage Jokes, Family Jokes
After 25 years of marriage, a husband took a long look at his wife one day and said:
"Twenty-five years ago, we had a cheap apartment, a cheap car, and I slept on a sofa bed, but I got to sleep every night with a sеxy twenty-six year old blonde. Now, we have a nice house, a nice car and a big bed, but I'm sleeping with a fifty-one year old woman. It seems that you're not pulling your weight."
She replied calmly:
"Then why don't you go out and find a sеxy twenty-six year old blonde? And when you do, I'll make sure once again that you'll be living in a cheap apartment, driving a cheap car, and sleeping on a sofa bed."
A married couple have been stranded on a deserted island for many years. One day another man washes up on shore. He and the wife become attracted to each other right away, but realize they must be creative if they are to engage in any hanky-panky. The husband, however, is very glad to see the second man there. “Now we will be able to have three people doing eight hour shifts in the watchtower, rather than two people doing 12-hour shifts.”
The newcomer is only too happy to help and in fact volunteers to do the first shift. He climbs up the tower to stand watch. Soon the couple on the ground are placing stones in a circle to make a fire to cook supper. The second man yells down, “Hey, no sсrеwing!” They yell back, “We’re not sсrеwing!”
A few minutes later they start to put driftwood into the stone circle. Again the second man yells down, “Hey, no sсrеwing!” Again they yell back, “We’re not sсrеwing!” Later they are putting palm leaves on the roof of their shack to patch leaks. Once again the second man yells down, “Hey, I said no sсrеwing!” They yell back, “We’re not sсrеwing!”
Eventually the shift is over and the second man climbs down from the tower to be replaced by the husband. He’s not even halfway up before the wife and her new friend are hard at it. The husband looks out from the tower and says, “Son-of-a-gun. From up here it DOES look like they’re sсrеwing.