Marriage Jokes, Family Jokes
A married couple have been stranded on a deserted island for many years. One day another man washes up on shore. He and the wife become attracted to each other right away, but realize they must be creative if they are to engage in any hanky-panky. The husband, however, is very glad to see the second man there. “Now we will be able to have three people doing eight hour shifts in the watchtower, rather than two people doing 12-hour shifts.”
The newcomer is only too happy to help and in fact volunteers to do the first shift. He climbs up the tower to stand watch. Soon the couple on the ground are placing stones in a circle to make a fire to cook supper. The second man yells down, “Hey, no sсrеwing!” They yell back, “We’re not sсrеwing!”
A few minutes later they start to put driftwood into the stone circle. Again the second man yells down, “Hey, no sсrеwing!” Again they yell back, “We’re not sсrеwing!” Later they are putting palm leaves on the roof of their shack to patch leaks. Once again the second man yells down, “Hey, I said no sсrеwing!” They yell back, “We’re not sсrеwing!”
Eventually the shift is over and the second man climbs down from the tower to be replaced by the husband. He’s not even halfway up before the wife and her new friend are hard at it. The husband looks out from the tower and says, “Son-of-a-gun. From up here it DOES look like they’re sсrеwing.
There is a man and a woman,they just met at a bar and started conversing, the woman is a easy going, always wanting to try new things type of person, the man is a hаrdсоrе hunter and hunting enthusiast, and very often goes hunting with his dogs.
The woman has never gone hunting before in her life, and has always wanted to
After 7 years of dating they decide to get married, and the man has promised to take her hunting the day after their wedding day.
The day comes, the man has gotten all of his equipment ready and packed his truck. BUT the weather is really bad; its cold, its raining and etc. ITS REALLY BAD WEATHER
The woman decides to tell her husband that she does not want to go hunting anymore.
The man, now disappointed and рissеd off, says to his wife "you have a choice, either you come and hunt with me or you вlоw me. Now im going to get the dogs ready, that will give you enough time to decide."
While her husband is away, she thinks about it.
When he comes back she tells him "well im not going hunting so i guess im going to have to вlоw you"
She starts blowing him and then stops for a moment, then says in a disgusted tone "aghh it tastes like s*it"
The man looks straight in the eye and says "well the dogs didnt want to go hunting either"
I didn't really understand my family until I moved to Puerto Rico as an adult. For, like, five years, I lived there, and before then, I had always assumed that the dementia, the craziness in our family, was specific to our household. Then, I moved to the island -- 4 million people behaving the exact same way -- and I realized, 'Oh my God, I'm not dysfunctional. I'm tropical!'