A new guy in town walks into a bar and notices a large jar filled to the brim with $10 bills. The man approaches the bartender and asks, "What's up with the jar?"
"Well, you pay $10, and if you pass three tests, then you get all the money."
"What are the three tests?" asks the man"Gotta pay first."So the guy gives him the $10 bucks, and the bartender adds it to the jar."OK, here's what you have to do. First, you have to drink that whole bottle of pepper tequila - the WHOLE thing at once - and you can't make a face while doing it. Second, there's a pit bull chained up out back with a sore tooth. You have to remove the tooth with your bare hands. Third, there is a 90-year-old woman upstairs who's never had an оrgаsм in her life. You gotta make things right for her."
"Well, I know I've paid my $10 bucks," says the man, "but I'm not an idiот. No wonder you've collected so much money - that's impossible!"The new guy proceeds to drink several whiskeys, and eventually, he gets up his nerve."Wherez zat teeqeelah?" he slurs.He grabs the bottle of pepper tequila with both hands and downs it, gulp by gulp. Tears are streaming down his cheeks, but he doesn't make a face. Next, he staggers out back. Everyone in the bar hears a huge scuffle outside - barking, yelping and growling, then silence.Just when they think the man must be dead, he staggers back into the bar with his shirt ripped and gashes across his body."NOW," he says, "wherez at ol' lady with the sore tooth?"
John was sitting outside his local pub one day, enjoying a quiet pint and generally feeling good about himself, when a nun suddenly appears at his table and starts decrying the evils of drink.
"You should be ashamed of yourself young man! Drinking is a Sin! Alcohol is the blood of the devil!"
Now John gets pretty annoyed about this, and goes on the offensive.
"How do you know this, Sister?"
"My Mother Superior told me so."
"But have you ever had a drink yourself? How can you be sure that what you are saying is right?"
"Don't be ridiculous--of course I have never taken alcohol myself"
"Then let me buy you a drink - if you still believe afterwards that it is evil I will give up drink for life"
"How could I, a Nun, sit outside this public house drinking?!"
"I'll get the barman to put it in a teacup for you, then no one will ever know."
The Nun reluctantly agrees, so John goes inside to the bar.
"Another pint for me, and a triple vоdка on the rocks", then he lowers his voice and says to the barman "and could you put the vоdка in a teacup?"
"Oh no! It's not that Nun again is it?"