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Not to brag, but I don't need alcohol to send texts that I'll regret later.
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This horse pretends to be dead every time someone tries to ride it! I had a girlfriend like that
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This is why I glued that sock to the back of the dryer.
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Τι κοινό έχουν οι δικηγόροι και τα σπερματοζωάρια Was unterscheidet Rechtsanwälte von Sperma? Von 5 Millionen Spermien hat wenigstens eines die Chance Каква е приликата между сперматозоидите и адвокатите? Един на милион има шанса да стане човек Was haben Männer und Spermien gemeinsam? Beide haben eine Chance von 1 zu 1 Million Quel est le point commun entre un avocat et un spermatozoïde ? - Tous les deux ont une chance sur trois millions de devenir un jour un être humain. Quelle est la ressemblance entre les hommes et les spermatozoïdes ? De tant de millions Hvad er ligheden mellem en sædcelle og en mand? - Kun en ud af en million bliver til noget ... Hvad har mænd og sædceller til fælles? – Der er 1:1000000 chance for Mitä yhteistä on miehellä ja siittiöllä? Kummankin todennäköisyys kasvaa aikuiseksi on yksi miljoonasta. Mitä yhteistä on spermalla ja asianajajalla? - Molemmissa tapauksissa yksi miljoonasta voi tulla ihmisiseksi
Q: What do a lawyer and a sреrм have in common?
A: Both have about a one in 3 million chance of becoming a human being.
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A dyslexic walks into a вrа...
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Q: Why did the d**k go to 7-11?
A: To get a Slurpee.
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Q: Why is 77 better than 69?
A: You get eight more.
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A man wants to join the Big Diск Club, and heads down to the club to apply.
The receptionist looks at him skeptically and asks him how large his diск is. "18 inches," he replies, proudly. To his surprise, the receptionist begins laughing uncontrollably, and the man leaves in shame. On the way out, he runs into the janitor, who asks him what's wrong. After he explains, he says to the man not to worry.
"See that lump in my sock?" The man nods. "And I'm just the janitor."
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Two blondes walk into a tanning salon. The receptionist asks, "Are you two sisters?"
They chuckled and reply, " No, we aren't even Catholic."
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Q: Why did the blonde run with the bike?
A: It was going too fast for her to get on.
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Q: Why was the blonde's bellybutton bruised?
A: Her husband was a blonde, too.
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Zehn Blondinen Ohr an Ohr o que é o que é 3 loiras com as cabeças juntas ? R:tunel de vento !! O que você vê quando olha uma loira encostada no ouvido da outra? R: Um túnel de vento. Hva får de dersom du stiller flere blondiner ved siden av hverandre og ber dem legge ørene sine inntil hverandre? - Vindtunnel.. Mitä syntyy Mitä syntyy kun tusina blondeja menee riviin: - Tuulitunneli. Vad kallar man två blondiner som står öra mot öra? Vindtunnel Vad bildar tre blondiner på rad? En vindtunnel! Zwei Blondinen Ohr an Ohr - Wie nennt man das? Windkanal.
Q: What do you call a bunch of blondes standing ear to ear?
A: A wind tunnel.
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An alien walked into a shop and told the owner that he came from Mars and wanted to buy a brain for research.
''How much is this one?'' he asked. ''That one is a monkey brain, and it's $20,'' the owner explained.
''How much is that one?'' the alien asked. "That one is a female brain, and it's $100,'' the owner replied.
''And how much is that one?'' the alien asked. ''That one is a male's brain and it is $500'' the owner explained.
''Why so expensive?'' the alien asked. The owner answered,''Well, it's hardly been used!''
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Q: What do you call a brunette between two blondes?
A: The translator.
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Q: What do American вееr and having sеx in a canoe have in common?
A: They're both f**king close to water.
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Q: Why did the blonde keep taking off the soda's bottle cap and putting it back on?
A: The bottle cap said, "Sorry, try again."
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Q: How do you catch a вrа?
A: Set up a boobie trap.
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A woman was in bed having sеx with her husband's friend when the telephone rang.
After hanging up, she says, ''That was Harry, but don't worry - he won't be home for a while. He's playing cards with you.''
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